Gag’s 15th Anniversay Show

I’m writing in response to Adam Read-Brown’s Sept. 22 Wespeak entitled “GAG REFLEX: 15 YEAR ANNIVERSARY SHOW ON OCTOBER 7TH AT THE MEMORIAL CHAPEL AT 8PM, FREE, WITH LOTS OF FAMOUS ALUMS PERFORMING!” In his piece, Read-Brown espoused the position that I would be playing a certain Ms. Simmons in the second scene of the aforementioned 15 year anniversary show this coming Saturday, in which my adopted son (who he ingraciously referred to as “Squatface”), would actually resist arrest for the possesion of a 7-foot long cummerbund that he procured while on his southern Utah NOLS trip. I would like to set the record straight that I will NOT be playing Ms. Simmons in the scene, nor will I even enter the scene until after the young Mr. Simmons escapes from prison. This matter will be fully cleared up on SATURDAY, OCT. 7, WHEN GAG REFLEX TURNS 15 AT THE MEMORIAL CHAPEL AT 8 P.M. FOR FREE. Please attend.