Dear Wesleyan,
Your campus is pretty cool. I especially like the parties at Eclectic and the tunnels. President Bennet is also a very intelligent, attractive man with a hot wife. If I had the chance to go to Wesleyan, I would have been a bisexual I think. I’m just kidding. I’m straight. But I don’t like slavery. It’s bad. I’m looking forward to visiting again soon. I was the one with wearing the top hat at the naked party last year. Damn thing is stuck to my head. Peace out dogs.
– Abraham Lincoln
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