Evolution was not kind to the animals who have become the NESCAC team mascots. Our mascots are not the most threatening, nor the most vicious, but we come up with some pretty creative titles incorporating these Noah’s Ark rejects. Admittedly, we sometimes get a little too creative in our headline writing. Here are the top 15 headlines that our editors deemed too inappropriate to print, because—well, hey, just read them:
1. Cardinals get over hump, ride Conn. College Camels
2. Cardinals humped by Conn College Camels
3. Cardinals on top of Lord Jeffs (Amherst)
4. Cardinals Ephed up by Williams
5. Size matters: Cardinals can’t measure up to Jumbos (Tufts)
6. Cardinals come from behind, give it to Lord Jeffs
7. Cardinals master Bates
8. Cardinals step on Camels’ toes
9. Wesleyan football hits the Brewers (Vassar)
10. Cardinals make fools of Mules
11. Cardinals Mount Holyoke Lions
12. Cards conquer new territory, beat Continentals
13. Cardinals make pussies of Bobcats
14. Polar Bears freeze Wes, make Card-sicles
15. Cardinals beat Williams
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