Intolerants Demand Tolerance
On September 2, 2075, Wesleyan's first annual banquet for students of an intolerant nature was held. Declared Wesleyan's smallest and ...
Ampersand
Kemp Wins WSA Presidency; Safer Sex a Priority
D'Prell Kemp '21, son of Seattle Sonics "Reign Man" Shawn Kemp, was elected WSA president in a landslide over Kevin ...
John Wesley-Snipes to Join Class of ’11
John Wesley-Snipes, the son of President John Wesley and 21st-century hero Wesley Snipes, has just accepted his offer to matriculate ...
A Guide to Dealing with Robots at Wesleyan
As you returned to our almost asbestos-free campus this September, chances are you noticed something different about Wesleyan Snipes University. ...
Curse You To Rigel-7, Humans
Hello Wesleyan Snipes University, I fucking hate you fleshy, organic ass bitches. I've had enough of your persecution of my ...
Classes of the Future
AMST345 Waffles Are Still New! BIO245 Remembering Plants BIO400 Genetic Engineering for Furries CCIV158 Did Americans Have Tools? COL122 Reading ...
ResLife Consolidates All of Campus Housing into One Room in the Butts
The Office of Residential Life's 50-year project of completely consolidating housing on campus finally reached its ultimate goal for the ...
Wesleyan Jews reclaim Little Hitler moustache
Wesleyan students once again showed their activist side when several members of the Jewish community grew their own "toothbrush moustaches," ...
Ex-baller Bol joins Wes grounds staff
Manute Bol is anything but "manute" in any facet of his character, as the Wesleyan University maintenance staff recently found ...
Editors’ Note: We’re filling in for the Wesleyan Connection
In case you haven't been checking your email, Jebediah Amishpants, every once in a blue moon you receive a copy ...