Curse You To Rigel-7, Humans
Hello Wesleyan Snipes University, I fucking hate you fleshy, organic ass bitches. I've had enough of your persecution of my ...
Ampersand
A Guide to Dealing with Robots at Wesleyan
As you returned to our almost asbestos-free campus this September, chances are you noticed something different about Wesleyan Snipes University. ...
John Wesley-Snipes to Join Class of ’11
John Wesley-Snipes, the son of President John Wesley and 21st-century hero Wesley Snipes, has just accepted his offer to matriculate ...
Kemp Wins WSA Presidency; Safer Sex a Priority
D'Prell Kemp '21, son of Seattle Sonics "Reign Man" Shawn Kemp, was elected WSA president in a landslide over Kevin ...
Intolerants Demand Tolerance
On September 2, 2075, Wesleyan's first annual banquet for students of an intolerant nature was held. Declared Wesleyan's smallest and ...
An Open Letter to President Bennet from Morgan ’09
Dear Doug, in your response to a woman of color's statement you quoted a few of her words: "I am ...
Editors’ note of the future
It's the last Ampersand of the semester, but it's the end of more than that. Both your intrepid editors are ...
Ex-baller Bol joins Wes grounds staff
Manute Bol is anything but "manute" in any facet of his character, as the Wesleyan University maintenance staff recently found ...
Wesleyan Jews reclaim Little Hitler moustache
Wesleyan students once again showed their activist side when several members of the Jewish community grew their own "toothbrush moustaches," ...
Diversity rocks Wesleyan
Wesleyan students flocked to Foss Hill to bask in the glow of Native-American-American-Indian-Original-Descent-Redskin-Oops-Not-Redskin summer, frolicking and rollicking like epileptics watching ...