Over a cup of hot tea and digestive biscuits, Hallie Cooper-Novack ’07 gave a glimpse of her glamorous life. The topic of conversation jumped from boobs to boys to bangs to Baywatch stars. She also clued me in on what life as a redhead is really like, and if they really have more fun. Her days of being a soap opera star are over, but she still acts, directs, writes, and edits, all while having time for a side job as Wesleyan’s unofficial hairstylist.
MC: So where did you learn to use scissors so deftly?
HCN: I mostly just learned from watching people cut my hair, and then just experimented. Chris Washburn was the first successful experiment. Then I actually looked into going to the Divinyl’s Technical Institute of Middletown (the beauty school), until I found out you have to spend a year and a half to get your barber’s license.
MC: Do you charge for your haircuts?
HCN: Well I used to have a barter system, where I’d have people buy me dinner or give me a ride somewhere or do some favor like that in exchange for a haircut. But now I’ve started charging people a dollar or two so I can buy thinning scissors. I’m trying to improve the business.
MC: Have you ever gotten any complaints and/or threats for your work?
HCN: During haircuts yes, but not after. Someone told me I’d have to buy her a hat if it looked bad.
MC: Do you ever get nervous, seeing as how the ultimate symbol of superficial beauty lies in your hands?
HCN: Yes. Especially when I’m doing something really drastic to my friends/people I live with.
MC: Do you now look at hairstyles with a more critical eye?
HCN: Oh yeah. There are people on campus whose hair I’d love to get my hands on.
MC: Would you care to mention any names?
HCN: Well I don’t want to offend anyone, but if you think you’re a victim of a bad haircut, my email address is hcoopernovac@wesleyan.edu I can fix it. Plus I’ll have thinning scissors soon.
MC: But enough about hair. I understand you’re an actress. Would you care to elaborate?
HCN: Well I’ve been in four Wesleyan productions, and I’m currently directing a play for the first time called “Aunt Dan and Lemmon”
MC: Do you get to sit in one of those director’s chairs?
HCN: Yes, I had one specially made.
MC: What does it say?
HCN: “Big Red.”
MC: Speaking of red hair, what’s your major?
HCN: East Asian Studies.
MC: But seriously, about your red hair. What is the best and worst thing about having such a distinguishing characteristic?
HCN: The best thing about it is that people can recognize me from across a crowded room. Plus old men call me funny names and I get rides from snowplow drivers. The worst thing is that I can’t blend in with a room full of Chinese people.
MC: That’s rough. But back to acting. How did you start your acting career?
HCN: When I was eight, I made an appearance on the soap opera that my mom worked on, One Life to Live. I guest starred as the flower girl at a wedding, and I shared the screen with Yasmin Bleeth from Baywatch.
MC: Yasmin Bleeth?
HCN: Yes, I learned everything I know about boys and boobs from Yasmin. (laughs)
MC: I also hear you write. What’s this I hear about some playwright award?
HCN: Well I won this award from Young Playwrights Inc. where they workshopped a play that I wrote with professional actors in an Off-Broadway theater in New York.
MC: That’s impressive. Do you pursue writing at Wesleyan also?
HCN: Yeah, I’m the managing editor of Fat-Bottom Magazine, a literary publication, which just had its first issue in December. You may have noticed it— it had breasts all over the cover. That was Yasmin’s idea.
MC: Naturally. So Hallie, do you have any other last words?
HCN: Only sluts have bangs.
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