Being single on Valentine’s Day is rough; feeling like you’re single because your significant other is miles away is even harder. There are student couples separated by oceans and countries due to one or both members studying abroad. How do these separated couples approach the fourteenth day of February?
“Being single on Valentine’s Day is the best thing ever,” said Kevin Hall ’05 who is now in a long-distance relationship with Jared Make ’05, who’s currently in Wellington, New Zealand. “People get all trite and talk about how alone they are and how much they need someone else.”
Long-distance relationships have become more common and more feasible as travel and communication technologies have improved. Instant Messenger and phone calls can make the separation seem less severe. But for those who choose to spend the spring semester abroad, a lonely Valentine’s Day may be part of the plan.
“The hardest part is not being able to see and talk whenever we want,” said Chapin Kelly ’04, whose girlfriend Katie Hodel ’05 is currently residing in Regensburg, Germany.
Were she here to enjoy it with him, Chapin says they would probably do something similar to what they did last year.
“We went to New Haven and toured the Yale Art Museum,” he said. “Afterwards we went to a wonderful bakery in Little Italy for some dessert. Finally, we came home and I cooked her dinner, which was the first time I had done that.”
While Hodel is several time zones away, Kelly is still a big fan of Valentine’s Day.
“It’s up there with the best of them,” he said. “The most important part of a holiday is being with people who you care about.”
Not everyone shares this sentiment.
“I hate Valentine’s Day,” Hall said. “I think it’s hokey, and I think that sweet, romantic things occur every day, naturally and because when we like people we like to do nice things for them. I have millions of fond memories of fun, sexy times I’ve spent with Jared. I’m just not sure which ones were on V-Day and which ones were on other days.”
Even though Hall considers Valentine’s Day to be no more important than any other, he can still envision what he and Jared will be doing this year.
“This V-Day will be Jared’s second day in New Zealand, and so my plans include imagining him pubbing around in Auckland while he avoids a boxing match with those damn violent kangaroos,” Hall said. “I think I’ll get drunk.”
In some circumstances, studying abroad can actually bring people together. One example of this is the relationship Annika Brink ’05 forged while she was studying abroad in Germany last spring. While admiring some thirteenth century architecture, Annika stumbled upon the path of Thommi Sylla, a debonair German who turned out to live in the apartment building adjacent to her own. This Valentine’s Day will be the first for them, but they will not be together for it.
“We always cook together, so if he were here, we would probably make some heart-shaped schnitzel,” Brink said. “ [When Thommi came to visit in Oct., he] loved Conn. and its landscapes, so we would probably also go for a bike ride.”
While Valentine’s Day is not zealously celebrated in Germany, Brink said she will make sure she gives Sylla a call. No doubt it will be in German.
For some couples, the allure of studying abroad is so enticing that both partners head off. This is the case for Emily Gartz ’06 and her boyfriend Matt Parker-Lavine ’05, who currently reside in Regensburg and Paris, respectively. While relatively nearby, they will nevertheless be spending Valentine’s Day apart.
“I’m going to a big party called Jazzer Fasching,” Gartz said. “Matt will be doing something else, in Paris of course, but he’s coming to visit the next week, so we’ll celebrate together late.”
Gartz has fond memories of last year with her beau.
“Matt was quoted in the Argus saying something about how Valentine’s Day was a poor excuse for a commercial holiday, and then showed up at my room that night with a rose and took me out. I love commercial holidays!”
Although sophomores and juniors are generally the ones who study abroad, long distance relationships are not the exclusive property of upperclassmen. Will Anderson ’07 knows the angst caused by having a loved one far away, separated from his girlfriend who goes to school in Atlanta.
“It’s frustrating that the closest way I can be with my girlfriend is through phone conversations, but it has been working well so far,” he said. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
Anderson has considered the idea of going abroad, but has reservations about being too far away.
“I want to go abroad to England, but if my girlfriend wanted me to stay in the States, I would. I could always go to Europe some other time. I’d much rather enjoy our time together.”
The idea of being far away from loved ones for Valentine’s Day may be saddening, but for some, it is better than nothing.
“I guess being single is worse. I’m glad I have something to look forward to [when I get home],” Gartz said.
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