Not only did Jacob agree to be interviewed at midnight on a Sunday, he also invited me over to his house for the interview, where he and Sascha Stanton-Craven ’04 treated me to ice cream, Adult Swim on Cartoon Network and their thoughts on everything from dating to puppies.
(After about 15 minutes of discussing the Bennets, we finally move to a printable topic—Wesmatch)
Jacob: A funny Wesmatch story. When the first incarnation came out, John Gordon and I were the number one and number two most compatible with everyone on campus. They had to redo the system. The first week I got at least ten phone calls, and some people I knew already were like “Hey, so we’re compatible…”
Do people actually use Wesmatch for dating?
Jacob: I certainly hope not.
Occasionally you get an IM off Wesmatch, and it’s just really sketchy.
Sascha: I think it’s more of a conversation starter. “Hey, we’re compatible on Wesmatch—but I’m not stalking you!”
Jacob: I think it’s only a matter of time before they come out with WesCyber. It’s like here’s the person you’re most sexually compatible with, and they have little chat rooms. But you couldn’t give your real name, you’d have to be like—
Sascha: Mr. Bippy.
Jacob: Sexysinglegirl79… xxx… for you…all night long.
Sascha: That’s a long name.
(After a few more minutes of random talk, we finally get down to business)
So why are you a WesCeleb?
Basically I saw Seth Samuels [’05, last week’s WesCeleb] and he was like “I’ve done this show, I’ve done this show,” and I was like, “Yeah, I did those shows.” He said he wanted to be a Jewish cowboy, an d I’m a Jewish cowboy! I worked as a wrangler in Colorado, I’m from Texas, I’m Jewish. I’ve got that going for me. Plus, it’ll enrage my housemate because she really wants to be one.
What do you do besides being a Jewish cowboy?
I played lacrosse for three years, intramural basketball, intramural softball, house manager of Beta, Greek Council, I write for the Ampersand, senior interviewer, tour coordinator for admissions, I act, direct, I’m directing a thesis next semester.
The question is do you sleep?
Not much, but I do have a huge bed. You know what, it’s so cold out right now, to be perfectly honest, I’m just looking for a warm body. My heat’s broken. I’m going to get hypothermic. You know, no one ever questions if someone’s hypothermic and says ,“We need to get naked in a sleeping bag.” I need to lure people into a sleeping bag with me, like “I can’t feel my limbs.”
Well, you do so much. There should be plenty of people who want to date you.
Sascha: There are plenty of people who want to date Jacob, but Jacob’s got this thing, like, standards or whatever. It totally ruins things for him. Like last week, Midge was like “Jacob, Doug’s gonna be gone, I think we should have a dessert party.” And Jacob’s like, “I don’t really go for president’s wives.” I don’t know, that’s a small category.
Midge has got a lot of power. You could get far with Midge.
Jacob: She’s very friendly.
I don’t think she looks like a Midge.
She does when she’s on the yacht.
Sascha: She looks kind of like a Powerzilla, like an Amazon thing.
Jacob: But she, like, makes cookies.
Sascha: Fine, we’ll settle between Midge and Powerzilla on… Peggy.
Jacob: Peggyzilla?
Sascha: Don’t be ridiculous.
(We digress to discussing the Ampersand , which brings Jacob to his Argus experience, including being a sexy single last February)
How was the sexy single experience for you?
You know, I get called a douche bag a lot for doing it. The frustrating thing was, I was filling out the questionnaire, and they said, “This won’t work. You come across as a nice guy. You’re from Texas. Why don’t you play up the cowboy?” The picture that didn’t make it in was me buck naked with a cowboy hat covering. Afterwards there was a brief flurry where everyone was like “Oh, you’re the sexy single,” and then after that it was like, “You’re such a douche.” It’s like instant glory and then it sort of fades away. Like when everyone was obsessed with the middle Hanson until they realized he was actually a dude, and he wasn’t hot anymore.
I heard the middle Hanson is married now.
That’s not as scary as when Macauly Culkin got married. When I was younger everyone said I looked a lot like Macauly Culkin. I was always kind of like, if I look like him, why is he having all this success? When I saw the wedding photos I thought, you know, I’m glad I didn’t turn out like Macauly Culkin. (We talk about celebrities and celebrity crushes for a while). I used to live out in Los Angeles. I went to the celebrity kid school.
No way! Who did you go to school with?
Jake Gyllenhaal was a grade above me, we did theater together.
So now he’s a movie star and you’re at Wesleyan. What happened?
He got his first movie debut much earlier than I did. He was in City Slickers.
So you had your movie debut I assume?
I did an independent film this summer. Julius Onah [’04] wrote, directed and starred in it and I served as the casting agent. He asked me to play a Yale student in it, which was really funny, because it was very stereotyped. It was me and Jesse Soursourian [’03] walking around being as ass-ish as possible. (We digress again and eventually start talking about middle school and high school). The people who I love at Wesleyan and in life in general were never popular in high school. That’s why I love this school so much. It’s a bunch of awkward people who love what they d—hey’re so passionate.
Sascha: Everyone’s a dork for something.
Jacob: And there are a lot of hot dorks too. Everyone always comments about how unattractive they think this campus is, and it’s not true. It’s just that people are attractive in a very different way. (We talk for a while about dating, including dating people outside of Wesleyan). No one dates at Wesleyan. I love going out on dates. The problem is, if you ask someone out on a date here, they expect that it means something immediately. Here’s the way dating works. You can go out on three dates, and only by the third date do you basically have to put out or leave. You can’t do that here. What is the big deal? Who doesn’t like flowers and a free meal?
So what do you want to do after graduation?
Become a stage and screen star. I feel like I need to do something a little more selfless first. I really love working at admissions, and I think I might apply for a few assistant dean jobs. I’ve certainly considered acting, although it’s really tough. Acting or directing, I love both. I’ve considered law school. Part of me just wants to be a ski bum for a while and learn Spanish and teach skiing out in Utah and fly down to Chile.
How is being a senior interviewer?
I love it. I think it’s incredible. You meet some amazing people doing it. It’s nice to know that you have some say over it, but by meeting them and discussing the school with them you get to know them. I think it’s really important to have students do it. I just love meeting people and talking to people.
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