When we noticed that Joe John Sanchez III ’07 had never been WesCeleb, we were a bit surprised. This HiRise RA is an internet rap star, a three-time “In the Company of Others” veteran, plus an award-winning speller. Joe John is quite the Renaissance Man; just don’t offer him part of your sandwich.

Interviewers: First off, what’s with the double name?

JJSIII: “Joe John” was actually a creation of my friend Emily from high school. She found out my middle name was “John,” and called me “Joe,” so together it became “Joe John Sanchez the Third,” which she thought was hilarious. When I came to Wesleyan, my neighbor was named “Joseph,” and I thought he was going to go by “Joe.” I decided that I should go by “Joe John,” so we wouldn’t get confused. Well, my neighbor and I never talked to one another or ran in the same social circles, and he went by “Joey.”

Interviewers: Tell us about your rap endeavors.

JJSIII: I have wanted to rap since the eighth grade, and I used to write little raps in notebooks about girls.

Interviewers: What inspired you?

JJSIII: Well, the first CD I ever bought was the single for “Been Around the World” and “It’s All About the Benjamins (Rock Remix)” by Puff Daddy when he was Puff Daddy.

Interviewers: Tell us about your recent endeavors in the rap industry.

JJSIII: My friend Chris [McDonald ’06] approached me after going to see Destiny’s Child’s final tour. He asked if I wanted to rap with him, and I did.

Interviewers: What’s become of this rapping? I’ve seen your MySpace page, so I know that you’ve recorded some songs.

JJSIII: We have a few songs. We were supposed to put an album out by the end of the year, but that’s not going to happen, so hopefully we’ll have it out after I graduate, like, during the summer. We’re called “The Mirror Boiyz,” if you want me to mention the name.

Interviewers: Important question: how many hits has your MySpace page gotten?

JJSIII: Oh, I don’t know off the top of my head, but we were featured on a music blog and in the Hartford Advocate, without our knowledge. I got an email from this guy who used to email me all the time about random things like gender-neutral housing and other little Wesleyan things. So he was just like, “we’re featuring you in our next paper.”

Interviewers: Speaking of blogs, I’ve noticed that you’ve taken a hiatus from the blogging world.

JJSIII: Yes, the “blogosphere,” as we like to call it.

Interviewers: Excuse me. Are you fed up with the “blogosphere”?

JJSIII: I’m not necessarily fed up with it, but I don’t have time for it. I have a thesis, and I’m a senior, so I don’t have time for it at all.

Interviewers: How is that?

JJSIII: Being a senior?

Interviewers: No, your thesis.

JJSIII: The plan is to make life-sized paper dolls and use them to market clothing of other designers; however, right now I don’t have an advisor, and I’m working on that.

Interviewers: Paper dolls…is that a specialty in a major here?

JJSIII: No, it’s printmaking. I figured that paper dolls are something that are mass-marketed and in the case of marketing, hypothetically, these dolls could be marketed and placed in stores. It’s not quite developed yet, but I’m getting there… Basically, I just decided to do it because I really like “Project Runway.”

Interviewers: So who is in your top three?

JJSIII: Right now my top three are Laura, Michael, and Uli.

Interviewers: I like Laura, too. I think she’s a cold bitch.

JJSIII: Yah, I like cold bitches. Cold bitches and babies.

Interviewers: Speaking of babies, have you seen Suri [Cruise]?

JJSIII: Of course! Creepiest baby I’ve ever seen. Not a real baby. She’s a robot! Babies do not have hair like that with eyes that bright.

Interviewers: Have you ever been mistaken for a celebrity?

JJSIII: My mother had a picture of me along with my sisters on her desk. Someone thought it was Prince William.

Interviewers: I see that you have a birthday coming up. Any big plans?

JJSIII: On September 30th, when I’m actually legal, I plan to have a “From Joe John to Kelly”-themed birthday party complete with a “From Justin to Kelly” drinking game in which participants will drink anytime there’s an awkward segue into a song, the evil girl is evil, and a few others. I can’t remember.

Interviewers: I hope you have Middlesex Hospital on speed-dial.

JJSIII: I’ll make sure that everyone stays under control; after the movie will be a beach-themed dance party.

Interviewers: What do you think of the Mini-Feeds?

JJSIII: They’re atrocious! And I’m afraid eventually Facebook is going to tell everyone every second I log on and how many hours I spend on it every week and whose profile I’ve looked at, whose pictures I’ve looked at multiple times. Big Brother is watching.

Interviewers: Does this mean you’re going to swear off Facebook?

JJSIII: I haven’t sworn it off, but if this continues I’m not going to use it at all, because I’ll be scared. I may have to end my relationship with the Facebook, because it’s become complicated.

Interviewers: So I know that last year you became an RA halfway through the year. What made you decide to become one?

JJSIII: I had always wanted to become an RA, but never really got around to filling out the application, so when there was an opening I took it. I had been a Summer RA before. Staying in Middletown all summer is not that fun.

Interviewers: What is a Summer RA?

JJSIII: Summer RAs basically do nothing. We have a small budget, which I used for one program that I called “Crunk and Munch,” where I played Lil’ John and gave people pizza. And then you work in the ResLife office. That’s really where you make the money. Working for them.

Interviewers: Speaking of food, I heard that you don’t like chocolate or sandwiches. What’s with that?

JJSIII: People often tell me that chocolate makes you happy, and I hate happiness. No, that’s not serious. I just got to a point where I didn’t like chocolate. It’s not that great. So I stopped chocolate. It’s not that I hate it; I just don’t want to eat it. But I really hate sandwiches. I won my fifth grade spelling bee, and won a sub as a prize. My mom made me not take a lunch and eat the sub, and I almost threw up.

Interviewers: What’s your ideal meal?

JJSIII: My ideal meal… I love chicken cutlets. Baked. I actually make them with Pam, so they are really dry, and nobody else would eat them.

Interviewers: And for dessert?

JJSIII: I don’t really like dessert. I’m not a sugar person. I guess I’d have an apple.