The first time I heard about Wesleyan, it resulted in an incident of semi-public embarrassment. It was the fall of my junior year, and I was changing into short-shorts at cross-country practice. The air was crisp, the leaves were turning deep shades of cider and mahogany, and I was trying to take my boxers off without removing my running shorts.
As I began my stealthy changing maneuver, a senior friend of mine walked over. Having just returned from a series of college tours, he asked, “Have you thought about where you want to apply next year?” “Um,” I replied, hobbling around on one leg and struggling with my shorts. “You gotta look at Wesleyan,” he said. “Yeah?” I asked, continuing to struggle while simultaneously maintaining eye contact with him. “It’s really political and artsy,” he continued. “Don’t you want a school like that?” Still balancing on one leg, I tried to nod. Then I fell over, boxers half-removed.
My momentary embarrassment was more than worth learning about the school that I’m proud to be attending next fall. I’ll spare you the laundry list of reasons why I fell in love with Wesleyan, but fall in love I did. Once my acceptance letters arrived the following year however, I found myself, metaphorically speaking, on the ground with my boxers half-removed once more.
This was the most momentous decision I had ever been asked to make and I didn’t know what in the world I was doing. I’d pore over guidebooks and rankings until my eyes stung and then start up again once my eyes stopped stinging. In the end, I matriculated to a school that wasn’t Wesleyan partly for financial reasons and partly because of these very rankings and guidebooks.
But I’m going to Wesleyan next fall, as a freshman, even though I’ve already completed a year at another school.
I offer this long and rambling account for the purpose of sharing a lesson I’ve learned about decision-making, trite as it may be.
When faced with a big decision like where to go to college, you’re likely to get input from many—if not too many—sources. Be it the media, friends, or a well-meaning neighbor, you’ll find advice if you look for it.
But try to shut out these sources, if only for a moment. Pray, meditate, curl up in the fetal position—do what you need to do. Advice isn’t inherently bad, but not listening to yourself is. We all have gut instincts and values, but we sometimes lose these internal sensations in the noise and confusion of the external world. Pay attention to how you actually feel and not only to external value judgments that society assigns to schools, professions, or life paths. You’re the one that will be bearing most of the brunt of your decision, so listen to your gut, not someone else’s. And trust that, even if you don’t make immediately satisfying choices, your intuition will ultimately lead you to where you belong. In my case, that’s Wesleyan.
Vaewsorn is a prospective student of the class of 2015.
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