Rachel is the best thing to ever happen to my LoRise, both because of the ridiculous amount of IKEA furniture she brought to it and her stunning organizational skills. Though we could have done this interview on our comfortable and Swedish named furniture (Poang, anyone?), we hung out in the Argus office and talked about makeouts, huge beds and the ever-important Swedish meatballs.
KR: So, Rachel, before we talk about your WesCeleb status, tell me about your amorous adventures last semester
RW: Well, I am the crowned winner—yes I actually have a crown—from the Spring 2004 Makeout Olympics. My friends and I set up an elaborate system of rules and points for making out with people. I got the most points, so I won. I am the make-outingest of them all
KR: So what was your strategy for victory?
RW: My strategy for victory was being willing to make out with guys and gals and making out with as many people as possible, as often as possible, in all situations possible.
KR: Any interesting stories to tell from that?
RW: My favorite make-out story is probably getting my female friend, who had a very long-term boyfriend, to make out with me after much convincing on the steps of Olin.
KR: Any lasting results from your competition?
RW: Besides the herpes? I’ve made out with most of my friends now. That probably would have happened anyway. It was kind of inevitable, but it happened a lot sooner than I expected it to.
KR: Why did you expect that to happen?
RW: Because my friends are hot, and they can’t resist my charm. They don’t have very strong wills, but they’re attractive, and that’s what counts.
KR: So moving to this summer. You are also the crowned winner of the IKEA parking lot sleep marathon.
RW: It was actually called the “IKEA Good Neighbor Welcome Sleepover.” I was here over the summer as an Orientation intern planning new student orientation, and Ali Gomer [’05], my co-intern, and I found out early in the summer that a new IKEA was opening in New Haven on July 28. By a huge fluke, at some point in early July, I got into my car and turned on the radio and immediately heard the words “IKEA sleepover contest.” I freaked out and ran back into the orientation office and looked up on the internet that KC101 was having this contest where they would pick V people to sleep at the new IKEA for three nights before it opened. The winners would get to keep this whole bedroom set of stuff and $2,000 in gift certificates, and the only catch was that you had to stay there and not leave for three days.
KR: That’s amazing.
RW: Yeah, it was totally sweet. Ali and I got really stoked about it. Earlier that week we had made this countdown on our bulletin board at work with the number of days until the store was opening. Ali and I both decided to enter the contest where you had to write a 50-word essay and send it in to KC101 with why you should be allowed to sleep at IKEA and win this contest. Along with my 50-word essay, I sent in a photo of myself in front of the bulletin board countdown we had made. I found out a couple of days later that I was one of the five people who got picked to go.
KR: So what was the parking lot experience like?
RW: It was totally sweet. They had this huge white tent set up, and under it there were five beds all in a row, made up with IKEA bedding. We each got a bed, and IKEA treated us like royalty for three days. The media was all up in our faces all the time. We had a PR representative. We got to be on TV and the radio and drink lots of lingenberry juice and take interior design classes from attractive Swedish IKEA employees and generally had a good time.
KR: I hear the last night was an adventure.
RW: Yeah, IKEA decided to give away these $100 chairs for free to the first 200 people in line when the store opened. People started showing up a full 24 hours before it was to happen. Among them were about 10 Wesleyan students, which was really fun. It got kind of crazy because it started pouring, and I felt really guilty because I was in this nice comfortable bed under this waterproof tent and everyone else was outside getting rained on. To make up for it in the morning while I got my breakfast served to me in a tray while I was still in bed, I gave my leftovers to my friends from Wesleyan.
KR: And now our apartment is totally sweet.
RW: That is correct. It is possibly the sweetest LoRise of all time.
KR: And it has the sweetest name of all time.
RW: Yes. Mason Dixon Junior Senior Dance Party No Pants Uber-Feminist LoRise B2.
KR: Should we invite people over?
RW: Come over any time! We can sleep VI in beds.
KR: So how’s your post-IKEA life?
RW: I have a sweet, sweet queen bed. When I go to IKEA now the people there know me. I only wish I had free Swedish meatballs for all eternity, and my life would be complete.
KR: Any words of wisdom as an IKEA-phile WesCeleb?
RW: For real, IKEA is one of the most moral, ethical companies in the world. If you want to buy furniture you should buy from them. Also, come sleep in my bed with me. Yes, all of you.
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