Today, Friday the thirteenth, the Wesleyan Administration revoked program house status from DKE. This action represents the administration’s covert mission to rid the University of fraternities under the false pretense that they are detrimental to the collegiate community. Ironically, this action comes in the wake of DKE being awarded the Lion’s Trophy, an honor recognizing the DKE chapter in the country best exemplifying the ideals of scholarship, community relations, alumni relations, and chapter improvement. I realize that there is a portion of the Wesleyan community who will apathetically shrug their shoulders or say good riddance at the prospect of losing DKE. These same people will argue that DKE is insignificant, or even detrimental to life at Wesleyan. However, I dare these same people to come and tell me about the insignificance of DKE when its a Saturday night and there are four hundred students laughing hard and partying like rock stars in our basement. I am most certain that a major percentage of the student body can crack a smile while recalling a good memory or a wild night that they had on account of the hospitality of Delta Kappa Epsilon. Nothing personal, but I wonder how many people can say the same about a night they spent at the German Haus or the Buddhist house? These program houses are insular and inconsequential to any people who do not live in them. However, the administration allows these invisible program houses to persist while terminating DKE as a program house.
This foolish move by the administration reveals how grossly they misunderstand the collegiate social scene. There is a very simple correlation between the lack of a party venue on a Saturday night and trouble with the Middletown police. When a fraternity does not supply a party, students will drink and drive to the local bars or pack into a small wood frame house by the hundreds. These house parties inevitably spill into the streets, disturbing Middletown residents and compelling the Middletown police to show up with pepper spray and attack dogs. Apparently some individuals in the administration do not understand the basic causes of this complete shit show, as they insist on assailing the few locations where students can have a good time without endangering themselves or disturbing others.
These individuals in the administration have a “Disney-fied” notion of collegiate students that exemplifies how far out of touch they are with our social interests. They adhere to the ridiculous idea that movies at the CFA, the extended hours of Freeman, or Javanese string orchestras will keep us entertained on a Saturday night. It is not a secret that a major percentage of college students crave some drunken revelry on the weekend as opposed to some jackass posing as an R-rated hypnotist at Crowell. The fact is, DKE performs a crucial service that is in high demand from the Wesleyan student body. The hundreds of smiles I see at our house on the weekend is a testament to our importance. The administration refuses to recognize that we perform a function that cannot be mimicked by a counsel of middle age deans who have forgotten what it is like to be young. We supply social functions for the entire campus with our own funds and we relieve the University of its duty to offer fun and exciting community functions. The only thanks we get are constant intrusions and threats from the Deans, Reslife and Public Safety.
Over the past couple years they have thrown an endless barrage of SJBs at our house because of our role as a pillar of the social scene here. We have patiently dealt with their procedures and complied with their various sanctions and punishments. Now we have simply grown impatient, as it becomes clear that the administration is a disorganized bureaucracy that is unreasonable and untrustworthy. Certain individuals appear to have an unprofessional and personal vendetta against our house, as they have gone out of their way to dismantle our organization. The instance I speak of involves our most recent SJB case. After a laborious trial we had certain sanctions placed onto the house. Following the trial, one of the deans took it upon himself to judge that the punishment was not severe enough. He bypassed the SJB process and took up the crusade to strip us of our program housing. This behavior completely discredits the entire SJB process and reveals that the administration has no sense of parity or regard for its own rules.
So now DKE is no longer a program house, and I have to admit that in a way it is a complete relief. We can finally sever ties with the people who relentlessly badgered us with silly violations. We do not need to go before the kangaroo court known as the SJB. Finally, we are relieved from the burden of playing by their silly and cumbersome rules. However, I have mixed feelings because our freedom could also lead to the termination of our house as the school gears toward banning off-campus housing. The one thing I can promise as the future of our house lies in jeopardy is that DKE will finish out this spring with a wave of parties that will remind everyone of why college is so much fun in the first place. This is our window to be indulgent, playful and rambunctious before the administration chokes all the fun out of this place. So I welcome everyone to our house, while reminding people that this might be the DKE swan song. Nobody here wants any pity; rather we all just want to see as many people as possible having some great nights on us this spring. So get ready to say goodnight to the bad guys, ’cause it’s the last time your going to see bad guys like us. You’ll miss us when we’re gone.
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