10 ways to feel good about yourself – save the planet
-Drink green beer. St. Patrick’s Day is everyday now! And everybody’s Irish. Even Jews! -Move to Colonial Williamsburg. Why, your ...
Ampersand
Mama Mia! Earth Day!
To celebrate Earth Day, or Earth Week if one day isn’t enough to exercise your liberal guilt, some brand spankin’ ...
Thousands attend Wesleyan baseball game: No one knows how the hell it ended
MIDDLETOWN, Conn. — Wesleyan Baseball set an attendance record on Sunday, as some estimates put upwards of 1,000 people attending ...
News Briefs: Other stories from Wesleyan’s Day of Victory… or perhaps defeat. Who knows, honestly?
Students get 'Contact' high MIDDLETOWN, Conn. — While many students passionately celebrated the highs of cannabis culture (zing!) this past ...
Congratu-fucking-lations!: What to do now that your thesis is over
Howdy thesis writers! I just spent the last few hours with you fine folks following the submission of your theses, ...
Editor’s note: If you can read this, you obviously didn’t do a thesis
A little secret about senior theses: only illiterate people write them. A few great thesis writers: Fantasia Barrino, Helen Keller, ...
It’s Stacey Augmon Awareness Month, damnit!
Stacey Augmon. I bet when I just mentioned him, he was the farthest thing from your mind. If he was, ...
Michael Roth continues stellar career in Wesleyan intramural softball league
Beware, C-League Intramural softball teams! For you lie in the crosshairs of the heartiest hurler since Mordechai “Three-Finger” Brown! His ...
Muggings inspire vigilante justice, Rube Goldber-esque traps
Due to the recent rash of on-campus muggings, many students have felt their safety encroached upon by a 6’1” black ...
You’re invited to my 7th birthday bash!
Dear Timmy, I would like to cordially not invite you to my 7th Birthday Bash featuring both Miley Cyrus and ...