Fuzzy, furry and agile: Goats. We all love them. But would you be willing to host a goat? Well that’s just what one group of Wesleyan students decided to do this year.
As a new club with a fresh outlook, the Wesleyan Goat Club had no trouble getting funding from the WSA.
“If Wesleyan is all about diversity, then we can’t turn down funding for the goat club. That would be discrimination and that’s not Wesleyan,” said WSA President Emily Polak ’05.
Goats can run in price anywhere from $200 per doe to $2,250. Rather than go for quantity and try to raise a herd, the group decided to buy one luxury goat, imported from Oklahoma.
“Cheap goats are really mean. They bite and that becomes a liability. We’re looking towards the future with Leslie,” explained Reece Telly ’05.
Leslie is one hundred percent Registered Boer Doe and was born on Feb. 2, 2002.
Goats are actually able to breed as young as one year old, so the Wesleyan Goat club will see grandchildren very soon.
“It will be amazing to be able to get them all together for a family photo,” said Billium Frankard ’08.
Right now, Leslie is living, much like a dog or cat, outside in a fenced yard created by the Goat Club near the Long Lane property. As the weather grows warmer, however, students hope to be able to bring Leslie onto campus—leashed, of course.
Duck Ree ’07 wanted to describe his attraction to goats and his inspiration for the club.
“I swore to my parents that some day I would have a goat, and would send them cheese by the pound! I knew that at Wesleyan I could make this dream a reality,” Ree said.
However, there are others at Wesleyan who do not approve of the Goat Club’s actions and have formed an Anti-Goat Action League (AGAL).
“Goats, on the one hand, are ruminant animals. On the other, they may resemble male humans. On both hands, they are ugly. Actually, you can’t hold a goat in two hands unless it is a baby, because otherwise it is too big,” said Nan Tello ’06.
Nick Gerry-Bullard ’06 commented, “My father was once chased by a goat with two short horns. He was chased, and he leapt a fence to escape. His pants got stuck on the fence and ripped. The goat hit him in the thigh and he got bruised. And then he lost his job.”
But beyond a personal dislike of goats, the Anti-Goat Action League was formed in response to what they see as animal abuse and a complete waste of valuable resources.
“As a goat advocate, I am personally disturbed with the Goat-Club’s treatment of Leslie. Goats, as everyone knows, need to be raised by farmers who keep red long johns on their laundry line, in case if the goat gets hungry and needs to eat some red long johns. Also, the rampant sexual abuse that is inherent in milking a goat is disgusting, and should be illegal. I radically condemn the Wesleyan goat club. They claim to love goats, but that is a farce. They really just want the goat’s soft, succulent nipples,” said Dizane Truscott ’06.
The Goat Club, rather than using equally harsh words, responded with an existential poem they collaboratively created.
“Goats. Goats goat ma-goat goat. Goatsies in my boatsies. Sailing into the wind,” they said.
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