Don’t ask Arijit Sen ’07 whether he wrote a book, because he won’t tell you. Arijit may or may not be from Calcutta, where he may or may not be a member of the Communist Party. Just one thing’s for sure: he’s running for parliament in 2009.
MB: Ari, tell me what you’ve done in your life.
AS: I’ve been mugged by a man with a snake instead of a knife.
MB: How did you get out alive?
AS: I shouldn’t have actually gotten out alive. I bargained with the muggers for, like, 15 minutes and haggled him down 50 bucks from what he wanted originally.
MB: You wouldn’t have paid an extra fifty bucks for your life?
AS: No.
MB: Where was this?
AS: This was in Delhi, which is like the armpit of the world.
MB: Is it India’s New Jersey?
AS: I may or may not have friends from New Jersey.
MB: I may not after this is published. Where are you from in India?
AS: I’m from Calcutta. It’s an overgrown village, but it’s awesome. All the cool Indians are from Calcutta.
MB: Did you go to an international school?
AS: No, I went to an Indian school that was run by the church. All our teachers were drunken priests. Am I going to go to hell for that answer?
MB: Do you have any drunken priest stories?
AS: No, but I have drunken Ari stories.
MB: Do tell!
AS: This one time I tried getting out of a moving car and convinced a cop that I was as agitated and upset as I was because I was homesick rather than because I was drunk out of my mind. Not that I drink, I’m under 21.
MB: Have you written a book?
AS: Maybe.
MB: Uh huh.
AS: It’s not a book per se. I have written the introduction to an art book, but I didn’t get credit for it. I get mentioned in the small type on the last page under “Acknowledgments.”
MB: How did that come about?
AS: My friend’s mother owns an art gallery and she needed to write an introduction to this book that they were publishing, and for some reason I got drafted. It was fine, I got a lot of free meals.
MB: Tell me about the book that you may or may not have written.
AS: In the hypothetical situation that it does exist, it may or may not be about a guy. Yep. A guy. He—pretty much.
MB: Do I have to pull out the WesCeleb torture devices?
AS: That depends.
MB: Well, if you won’t talk about your book, why do you deserve to be famous?
AS: Other than the fact that I’m mad cool—note that there’s an incredulous tone in my voice—I’m a member of the Communist Party. I’m running for election in 2009.
MB: Not to be confused with 2008, when there’s an election.
AS: The world does not center around America. Indian elections are in 2009.
MB: What are you running for?
AS: Member of Parliament. Please note that the opposition won the seat by 2.7 million votes in the last election.
MB: If elected communist member of Parliament, what would you do with all that power?
AS: Make money under the table.
MB: You’re an asset to the party.
AS: I just look good in red.
MB: Do you think the WSA has prepared you for a life of politics?
[Mario Aguilar ’07 walks past and tells Ari he’s a cool guy. This immediately goes to Ari’s head.]
AS: I feel it’s possible that civic health is a more difficult issue to deal with than chalking.
MB: At least you get used to losing battles.
AS: I bought my election! Yes, this is true. I paid people in candy to vote for me. I also washed their cars, and wrote their papers for them.
MB: All that so you could labor over WESU proposals, fruitlessly write gender neutral housing declarations, and schmooze with Doug Bennet?
AS: Well it’s true that the WSA does do a lot of serious work. It’s not super-powerful, but it gets less credit than it deserves.
MB: Are there issues that don’t get talked about on campus that the WSA has affected recently?
AS: The fact that language classes didn’t get cut. The Campus Center was open for meals last year for freshmen [who lived in the Butterfield dorms]. The fact that so many student groups have the money to organize the events and the concerts that they do. And they decide how much money the Argus gets.
MB: Does that mean I have to be nice to you?
AS: No, no one lets me do anything important.
MB: What’s your position in the WSA?
AS: I’m a member of the Student Affairs Committee. We deal with dining, housing, and other such breathtakingly exciting stuff.
MB: I liked your ad campaign last year.
AS: The one that suggested I was a Nazi?
MB: Hmm. Did it?
AS: One of them did. I characterized myself as a 6 foot 3 blonde, blue eyed Aryan. They like that sort of stuff on campus.
MB: They sure do. Somewhat relatedly, how do you like being a COL major?
AS: Yes. I am noncommittal.
MB: You’re flipflopping, Ari.
AS: I’m related to John Kerry.
MB: Do you want to tell me about your tattoo?
AS: Let’s classify that as a drunken story.
MB: Uh oh.
AS: It’s not a permanent tattoo, so it’s really that exciting. It only lasts for a week—hopefully.
MB: What’s the weirdest thing about the United States?
AS: You guys don’t use the metric system. That’s kind of silly.
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