Wondering how the Cardinals are doing? No? Well…um…
Every year the Cardinals play the Brewers in tennis, but wouldn’t it be fun if they did it with beer? After much tedious research, I found out that their mascot was probably named after their founder, an English-born brewer and businessman, Matthew Vassar’s, occupation. I bet they have their own brewery somewhere on campus.
Good god, are you still reading this article? If you are, obviously you must like my section. Or me. Either that, or you have nothing else better to do right now than to figure out where the joke is in this.
Simpsons, think Simpsons. Did you see the episode last week when Homer’s mom came back for the second time? Do you think they will ever get tired of that story line? I hope not, I really like the Simpsons. “I hope 1000 years from now historians find the Simpsons and think it was our version of Shakespeare cuz man, Homer is truth,” said Al Dixon ’05. See I’m not the only one…
As you can see, this doesn’t have much to do with sports, not in the least. But I can say that the men’s tennis team did beat Vassar 7-0 earlier this past fall. What a great way to end the fall season!
Really now, isn’t this getting pointless? I’ve made only two references to sports in this entire article. But who cares anyway, it’s the second to last day of classes before Thanksgiving break, no one but me is going to read this anyway.
Everyone stop reading here. Like Nike says, just do it. But wait, if you do, then you’ll be the idiot who didn’t get the joke.
Great, who wants to be that guy? You might be one of those people who is the last one to laugh at all the jokes, and if you stop reading, you’ll just perpetuate your idiocy again.
Or girl? I don’t want to be offensive and forget anyone. Heaven forbid I do that.
Ok, so this is the second to last paragraph and I don’t know what else to say. I mean I could ramble on about all great stuff going on in life, or in sports, or for a joke issue I could even start talking about Michael Jackson… but he’s not really a sport.
Done. It is finished. And if you didn’t get the joke or see the Simpsons, feel free to read this again. First person who gets the joke gets a prize…
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