Here at the Argus, we believe that if you can’t beat them, join them. These are our confessions:
I can’t control the volume of my own voice.
Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide, sometimes I’m scared of you, but all I really want is to hold you tight.
Sometimes I really don’t like being the Editor-In-Chief.
I stole Christmas.
You make me wanna La-La. (On the kitchen, on the floor.)
I currently have an erection.
I want to take Tata from Typhoon behind the counter and lick massaman curry out of her coochie snorcher.
My penis is 19 inches erect. Sometimes I pass out from the blood loss.
To be honest, I think Honest Tea sucks.
I shit in the Olin elevator.
I’m cheating on the Argus with the Hermes.
I says that what he says is what I says.
I have a secret boyfriend I haven’t been telling you about. He’s R Kelly, and I’m 12.
Last summer I went on vacation with my family.
I can’t read or write.
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