With apologies to Michael Roth and co., here’s a good song to start off your college career.
Ah, starting off strong, as always.
Well, our good friends over at Wesleying have the whole dorm living and Wesleyan-isms posts covered, so we here at the Blargus figured that you might be interested in some other–random, as is our style–things that might be useful in your time here at Wesleyan.
So here’s our completely unnecessary list:
- If you’re in Fauver, get a TV: watch Jersey Shore. That’s more or less what Wesleyan is like.
- At the same time, don’t use the words “Grenade” or “Rhinoceros” in reference to men or women. Yikes.
- And you probably won’t meet many people who truly live GTL–they believe it, but they don’t live it. Hypocrites.
- In fact, Wesleyan has very little to do with Jersey Shore, except that we’re the Alma Mater of Jwoww.
- Well, that’s just not true, but our women are notorious brawlers.
- We’re more like Real Housewives of New Jersey, actually, speaking of reality TV.
- Except with more gay/bi/trans people.
- Basically, we’re Real World: New Orleans.
- [ADDENDUM: By now, you’ve probably already realized that I’m watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion while writing this, and that my favorite Jersey Shore character is Jwoww]
- To be honest, though, Wesleyan is more like a combination of many reality TV shows, plus an MGMT music video rolled into one.
- [OMG what’s a teleprompter doing in the background of this show? I fucking knew it was scripted.]
Please enjoy our content for the rest of the year–especially our fantastic weekly columnists…
- ANOTHER point to work in here: if you would like to work for us–write opinion pieces on the internet on whatever subject you want, please drop us an email. Our editors, Gabe (me), Ian and Dean would love to talk to you. Drop me a line at glezra(at)wesleyan(dot)edu.
So enjoy Freshman Days, or whatever they’re called now, and please: drink heavily, fight people, break stuff, and meet friends.
Sincerely,
Your Blargus Editors,
Gabe (Ian and Dean)
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