Every few decades, there are moments in time—small windows of our transient existences—that serve to define us, becoming touchstones of a generation. They become “I-remember-where-I-was-when…” moments, etched forever in our collective memories. The Kennedy assassination, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the premiere of “Two and a Half Men” on CBS; all have defined past generations, permanently and irreversibly altering the way we live our lives and the way we view the world. Most of our experiences amount to mere pebbles being dropped in the ponds of our lives; these few transcendent moments are more like boulders.
Unfortunately, for us woe begotten members of Generation Me, it seems that we have somehow missed out on this watershed event, instead aimlessly wandering through some corporeal wilderness in search of a defining identity. Thankfully, that moment arrives this Sunday at 1:00 p.m. EST on a humble soccer field behind the Freeman Athletic Center. There, upon the closely cropped greenery of the women’s practice field, Boca Seniors will battle FC Grundle Trolls for the Intramural B League Soccer Championship.
Now, dear reader, you may be asking yourself, why in the heck should I give two pence about this game? What’s at stake, besides some trophy in the form of red plastic cups to hold gallons upon gallons of celebratory Natty Light, bragging, and more groupies than an N*Sync concert? Well, not much—besides EVERYTHING.
Think “Angels in the Outfield“ crossed with “Air Bud” crossed with “Schindler’s List,” and you’ll have some vague approximation of what this game represents. On the one hand, you have Boca Seniors, the defending B League champions, riding a tidal wave of momentum, following a day of double victories last Sunday in the play-in game and semifinals. The play-in ended in a penalty kick shootout, with goalie James Bleshman ’08 mounting a stalwart defense not seen since the Russians held back the Nazis at Stalingrad. Couple that thrilling victory with Boca’s overtime win coming on the foot of lanky-legged striker Yuiske (he’s got one name, just like the Brazilians), and you’ve got a team riding higher than an Impala driven by Snoop Dogg with Willie Nelson riding shotgun and Cheech and Chong in the backseat.
On the other side of the pitch are the formidable FC Grundle Trolls. I assume they won their playoff game, due to the fact that they are the other team in this game. They lead the league in steroid usage, uncalled fouls, and referee fellatio.
Sunday. 1:00 p.m. Soccer fields behind Freeman. Heroes will rise. Cowards will fall. And you, the spectator, will be absolutely thrilled. Be there, or be doing something more productive.
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