Wesleyan University has a big problem, and it is this problem that stops me from attending homecoming this year with my fellow ’07 graduates. Wesleyan, the administration and the community do not want to acknowledge how frequently rape and sexual assault occur on this campus. It happens a lot. Go to any Take Back the Night and the number of victims this university has amassed will appall you. Go through the archives of the Argus to see how many frustrated students have spoken out, pleading that the University acknowledge these problems, seemingly to no avail.
Not only does Wesleyan not acknowledge that rape and sexual assault occur frequently on this campus, but we have also tricked ourselves into believing that the “few” times it does occur, Wesleyan is equipped to deal with it. Wesleyan is incredibly ill-equipped to deal with any situation involving rape or sexual assault. In fact, Wesleyan comes dangerously close to being negligent and has shown this not only through my own personal experience with reporting my own sexual assault but through other rapes and assaults that have happened in past years.
At Wesleyan we are taught to believe that we are a community and that, as a community, there are certain things that we are allowed to police and govern ourselves. Thus we have Public Safety and the Student Judiciary Board (SJB). It is Wesleyan’s policy that rape and sexual assault can be tried by the SJB court along with other infractions such as noise complaints and party violations. What we must not forget, but often do, is that rape and sexual assault are VIOLENT CRIMES. They are not only infractions against the Wesleyan community but ILLEGAL events that have dire consequences for the victims. Wesleyan’s assumption that it can police and try rapists and sexual assaulters allows the assumption that these acts are community issues, when they go way beyond the community. After all, would the SJB try issues of murder, attempted murder, or other violent, criminal acts?
The thing is it’s hard to look at someone you have known, who you have trusted, as a rapist, a sexual assaulter and, most importantly, as a criminal. Rape happens to those we know and love, and is likely done by those who we also know and love. This is an incredibly hard realization to have, but it is one that we must come to terms with. If the people who commit these terrible attacks are not forced to acknowledge what they have done, there is not only the risk that they might do it again, but also it puts the weight of the situation on the victim. As a community we must hold the assaulters accountable, we must get involved, because every person that finds out about an assault and does not get involved further silences the incident and forces the victim to deal with the situation alone. Not confronting the issue, or not “choosing sides,” or “staying out of it,” helps no one; it just allows the assaulter to get away with his/her bad behavior without ever having to deal with it.
Rape and sexual assault victims have to live with the consequences of their assaulters’ actions for the rest of their lives. I cannot adequately explain what it feels like to live with the incident of my sexual assault. I cannot put into words the emotions that I feel, the shame, the frustration, the utter helplessness, but most of all the burning anger. The anger that I was held down against my will as I cried, said no, and asked for it to stop, and was ignored. I am angered that Wesleyan tricked me into an agreement that they couldn’t and didn’t enforce and that my assaulter gets to live without having any consequences for his actions. It takes a long time to recover from that, and I’m not there yet My deepest fear is that I never will be.
It is imperative that Wesleyan rethinks its policy on rape and sexual assault, and it is also imperative for the Wesleyan community to open its eyes. We may not like what we see, but we must deal with these issues instead of hiding them behind a wall of silence so that the unnamed victims that walk the campus everyday don’t have to suffer in silence.
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