Good thymes

Dear Editors,

I’m writing to complain. Last week, I submitted a Wespeak to the Argus. This Wespeak was very dear to my heart. I used it to express my rage, outrage, fury, and displeasure with the contemptible paucity of GOOD TIMES on the Wesleyan campus through a Rauschenbergian assemblage of glass shards from beer bottles, the remains of my final project from Sculpture 1, and the bones of my roommate’s (now deceased) hamster. I understand that Wespeaks are usually printed in two dimensions, but I think that just goes to show that the dribble coming out of the Argus is two-dimensional. I demand that, as an apology for your failure, you go fuck yourselves, and also print my last Wespeak on the front page of this issue.

Sincerely,
Bartin Menjamin

P.S. Please run this Wespeak anonymously, as I am currently applying for a job in the State Department.