The Social Committee of the Wesleyan Student Assembly (WSA) announced earlier this week that R&B prodigy Sisqo will headline Spring Fling 2007, along with fellow Billboard 2000 toppers Donnell Jones and Jagged Edge. (Who?) I think I’ll sing it again. Sisqo will headline Spring Fling 2007.
“His new album, ‘Last Dragon,’ is being released within the next few months, so Sisqo is very excited to return to the R&B scene and reconnect with fans,” said Sisqo spokesman Maddox Martin.
Some students questioned how well the artist would be able to reconnect at Wesleyan. This thing right here is lettin’ all the ladies know what guys talk about.
“The girls here make social statements out of refusing to get bikini waxes, so let’s not encourage them to wear thongs, alright?” pleaded Suri Jolie-Pitt ’08. “Can’t we get Andrew W.K. again?”
The Social Committee responded defensively, but passive-aggressively, via Away Messages and Facebook Wall posts.
“I don’t know what everybody is complaining about,” said Chair of the Social Committee Moses Cruise ’07. “You know you want to dance awkwardly like you’re at a middle school dance.”
Other committee members responded more understandingly.
“Maybe we could have gotten someone a bit more popular,” said member Coco Holmes ’09. “But there were budgetary constraints. Well, what the hell do you want? No New York Times Readership Program and Akon at Spring Fling, or the readership program and Sisqo?”
Despite promising to perform new material from the upcoming album, Sisqo’s preliminary set list for Spring Fling includes only two-and-a-half hours of “[The] Thong Song.” He discussed via e-mail where his career has taken him during the past several years—to Middletown, CT, apparently—and the fame that he hopes Spring Fling will return to him. When asked why the college population is important to musicians, Sisqo opted to respond by listing his full repertoire of solo albums.
“Unleash the dragon,” he said. “Return of Dragon. Last Dragon.”
He declined to explain why ‘the’ is omitted from the latter two album titles. Students were not impressed.
“The only dragon that is unleashed at Wesleyan is SoBe, and that’s not even a dragon,” said Scout Arquette ’09. “It’s a lizard.”
Other students reacted more indifferently.
“I’m not too concerned,” said Prince Michael O’Donnell ’07. “As long as he shows up on time, doesn’t yell at us for making him rap on a fucking truck, then leave two hours early because he has to catch a flight.”
Beyond a hit single that glorifies miniscule pieces of fabric, Sisqo’s career itself does not cover much. Originally the lead singer of R&B and soul group Dru Hill, Sisqo ventured into reality television with the MTV Spring Break dance competition “Sisqo’s Shakedown” (2000) and appeared as a guest on “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch” (2002). He shook his thing like he was the ish on big-screen blockbusters “Get Over It!” (2001) and “Snow Dogs” (2002). He plans to join the cast of the next season of “The Surreal Life,” along with the Tatu girls and Ja Rule. Sisqo discussed in the e-mail his hopes for this third television role.
“Unleash the dragon,” he said. “Return of Dragon. Last Dragon.”
Only time will tell whether or not Sisqo can still make audiences cruise to the grooves to connect the dots.
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