With spring fast approaching, the men’s lacrosse team is gearing up for another run at the national championship. Last year, the Cards posted a 16-4 record and lost in overtime to Cortland State in the semifinals of the NCAA tournament. With plenty of talent returning, the Cardinals begin the year ranked fourth nationally and hungry for a NESCAC Championship and another deep run in NCAAs. I talked to Jesse Bardo ’07, a nationally renowned goalkeeper warmer-upper and bench heckler, about his role and the Cardinals’ chances this spring.
JC: So what would you say is your main role on the team?
JB: Pre-game, I take care of the goalies. I make sure they get hydrated and get a good steam in. I also make sure there are water bottles in the steam room. Then we usually have the freshmen goalies drive us to the field. Then I talk to Ken Dompier for about 15 minutes about my love life. And politics. Then when C-Tone [All-American goalie Charlie Congleton ’07] is limbered up after a set of painful karaokes and shuffles across the field, I start shooting at him. Shooting is a science.
JC: What makes you such a good shooter?
JB: Well, I take good care of my balls and I shoot between 200 and 400 shots a day in practice. That leads to pinpoint accuracy, which is helped out by my perfect bone structure. I start stick-side high and work in a clockwise position around the goalie until they’re warmed up and then I rip rope.
JC: What’s ripping rope?
JB: Ripping rope consists of ripping open the back of the net with my velocity and torque.
JC: What do you do before practices?
JB: My rigorous practice routine starts with me showing up ten minutes late with a Snickers. I give it to Colin Campbell [’10] and then I demoralize and torment the goalie corps, which consists of Trevor Adams [’09] and Michael Berrerrrerrro [Borrero ’09]. As soon as I’m done warming up the goalies I usually go over to Russell Follansbee [’09] and tell him how he’s a miserable lacrosse player and how his mom is really hot. I then spend of practice with Ken Dompier and Peter Harris [’07] eating crumpets and talking of poetry.
JC: Would C-Tone be where he is today without Jesse Bardo?
JB: Absolutely not.
JC: Could you elaborate on that?
JB: I guess. C-Tone is an All-American, which makes me an All-American goalie warmer-upper. Sure, C-Tone is actually in the net, but when he is, everything I’ve told him and all my shots are going through his head, so I take most of the credit. I guess some of the credit can also go to Coach Cash, our goalie coach, who brings a positive attitude and an even better pony tail.
JC: So what do you do on the bench during games?
JB: During the games, I constantly cheer, much as I do for soccer and basketball games. I am part of an elite crew known as the “Juggsquad.” We intimidated offenses all season long last year, and I occasionally see the field for celebrity appearances and special charity events.
JC: Why do you think you guys are so good?
JB: I think a lot of our success comes from how good-looking our team is. When you have a team that’s much better looking than Jason Ben-Eliyahu [’09] and Follansbee, you know you’re going to be the best in the NESCAC. Most notable of the beautiful faces, beside myself, would be Spike Malangone [’09] and Dan “Baby Gap” O’Brien [’10]. So I owe most of our success to our offseason work in front of the mirror.
JC: What’s your outlook for the season?
JB: This season is going to be a test of will and determination. We have a tough schedule coming up, especially during spring training in Florida.
JC: Are you looking forward to the Florida trip over spring break?
JB: Absolutely. The Florida trip really cements our team chemistry. Sunny FLA is where we work on our behind-the-backs and beach workouts—both fundamental things to lacrosse in the NESCAC.
JC: The NESCAC season is always a grind, though. What’s going to help you guys get through it?
JB: I think the one thing that will really help us out is the scar on the face of Tom Bendon [’07]. Also, the fact that [Mike] Hines [’07] is really on the same page with our coaches is going to have a pivotal impact on our team’s success. He and Coach McCarthy are currently sharing a bunk bed in the basement of Fauver.
JC: Last thing. How happy are you that Wesleyan finally got a turf field?
JB: The new turf has been exciting to play on. And it’s also helped Kwasi Ansu [’09] with his aim on the field, throwing ice balls at other people. Thanks a lot, dick.
Leave a Reply