Dear Jeff Pike,
First off, I completely agree with the issues you raised about men also being survivors of sexual assault and rape. I attended Take Back the Night, and I was very grateful to the crowd that came, women were by far not the only ones there. I merely caution that your problem stems less from Take Back the Night’s approach to dealing with sexual assault and rape, and more with how society as a whole views these issues as male aggressors and female survivors. This year especially, they opened up the first circle to all survivors, regardless of gender, and I see this as a great step forward to helping liberate male survivors of assault to break their silence. I get the feeling that you did not attend this year, for they did specifically talk about that very issue and trying to remedy it. Hopefully through time and people like you speaking up, the social stigma surrounding male survivors will lessen to a point where more feel they can come forward. Furthermore, rude whistles and lewd comments don’t deserve to be disregarded simply because they aren’t as disturbing and traumatizing as sexual assault or rape. By not naming and reprimanding behavior that sets up other people as sexual objects to be appraised, we help foster the behavior that allows for these assaults to happen.
As for the rainbow banners: As far as I had heard, they were not torn down, but rather fell down and then kindly rescued and folded by some thoughtful people (whoever you are, you rock!) so don’t get so excited. What I find disturbing is your pleasure at the idea of someone ripping them down. A rainbow banner does not represent support for lust and homosexual sex. I can’t help but find this idea rooted in the stereotype that being queer is all about sex (the act, not the biological condition). What these banners hope to show is a community that is tolerant of differences, as the rainbow was originally meant, though now it’s connotations are with the queer rights movement.
Celebrating coming out doesn’t mean celebrating lust or sex acts, it means hoping that our community at Wesleyan can be one where students feel safe to express who they are, in all the ways that means. Sexual orientation and gender expression don’t have to do with sex acts. They have to do with who you are and whom you fall in love with. If falling in love is purely based on lust, then it is so no matter the gender of the people involved. It is not a sin to know and be one’s self. It is not a sin to love.
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