First, allow me to declare that I am on the tail end of the long waiting list for carrels, and thus suffer from some bias.
I am writing this Wespeak due to some rather dubious opinions expressed by fellow thesis writers who did not get a carrel. As my good friend Henry Tan ’08 pointed out, having a noisy room or fascinating housemates is not a justifiable reason to get a carrel. That’s a personal problem, not one that Olin is obligated to solve for you.
Olin librarians admitted they just “pick the names out of a hat.” Depending on the weight of each scrap of paper, the order in which they are put in, and how well the hat was shaken, the results can vary very widely. I propose that Olin switches to a real random number generator (RNG), such as the one that presumably powers Course Registration.
Moreover, the farther people live away from Olin, the more weight that should be put on their number, as a student who lives in Fauver should need a carrel less than one who lives on Washington (I live in Hi-Rise).
Convenience should be the deciding factor in the carrel lottery. I can think of only one other legitimate reason: prestige (or as we like to call it on the Internets, e-penis, or epeen for short). Apparently life-and-death critical to some people, I can’t deny that I’m not affected by it.
Come to think of it, have the most prized carrels (i.e. the ones with windows, and/or full length doors which you can have sex behind) up for auction. They will be allocated to whoever values them the most, with all proceedings going to either charity or the Build-More-Carrels Fund. Or a new science building.
Oh yes, and CSS majors should be guaranteed a carrel. With a full-length door.
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