Facebook is watching

Unless you’ve been under a hard rock for three years, you’re one of those hippies who is a supporter of numerous hate-the-man-antisocial-self-righteous riots, or your parents conveniently gave you a soul (i.e. you have real friends), you are in fact a member of the “social networking website” known to the 20-something proletariat as FACEBOOK. So fellow comrades, I write this Wespeak to publicly vent about my frustration at Facebook and the new layout that was inaugurated early Tuesday. Basically, I am just freaking out about this ‘feeds’ scheme. Not only do I instantly get flashbacks to history lessons about Totalitarian Regimes and 1984 (see pun intended title). It gets even worse; I am in the midst of having a total girl crisis. Let me explain something to you: I do not want Stephanie to find out that I wrote on Ryan’s wall at 2:39 am or that I placed a friend request to Emily’s boyfriend who she knows I claim to “hate.” And surely, I could do without the knowledge that Matt Harter has joined “Football is cooler then your mom.” Uh oh, fuck, now I’m suddenly realizing that I really didn’t want all the remaining anti-Facebook Wesleyan Students to know all of that either. The point is that Facebook has become lame and I ask all of you (who I know are sitting in pi-cafe silently judging my writing style, grammar, and the simplicity of my vocabulary) to fight back and at least write something to Mark Zuckerberg about how much you hate the new regime (I mean, web platform) changes. You can do that much to support the blue Facebook Guy and his iconic figure.