They say not to burn bridges, but since I’m a pretty good swimmer I’ll take one last opportunity to give a nice big FUCK YOU to Wesleyan University, a school that treated me like dog-shit despite the fact that I’m one of the brightest, most talented and well-intended sons of bitches around here. This school was not ready for my genius, and the outside world is even less prepared for what I have in store for it. When I eventually lead the next Cultural Revolution (with a keyboard guitar in one hand and an aborted fetus in the other), I’ll have Wesleyan to thank for pissing me off enough to see just how shitty the world is from an entirely new set of vantage points—those of the pretentious and politically misguided academics, equipped with nothing but the intellectual brand-names on their diplomas and their oh-so-noble intentions. When the screaming sounds of your future brats finally drive the idealist garbage out of your clouded heads, I’ll be fighting against the fascist ideological rulers of mankind.
Here’s to all of my enemies and false friends. Don’t beg me for mercy when the final reckoning is upon your sorry asses? Seriously though, it’s been a rollercoaster ride from Hell. By the way, don’t bother getting offended by this Wespeak. A smart man once said, “Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke,” but he never went to Wesleyan to realize how hard “they” can fuck back. My ass is sore, and I’m tired, so please spare me the angry and injured responses that prove unequivocally that you do not know how to read or interpret anything. I’m not going to waste my time with them. Actually, I lie. It gives me great pleasure to have my superiority confirmed by idiocy. In any event, flex your egos by taking stabs at another one of your peers. You are not my peers. I am your superior in every way. You cannot even begin to fathom the enlightened ground upon which I stand or the mighty air which I breathe. Fuck everyone and everything. Class of ’06, fuck you twice as hard. Peace, I’m out!
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