I want steam now

I love going in the steam room. It makes my muscles feel good. Unfortunately the steam room in the men’s locker room didn’t work at the end of last year or the beginning of this one. I was very happy when I saw that it was fixed, a month or two ago—until I tried to turn it on. The instrument panel is far more complicated than the old time and temperature dials it used to have. Now there’s a full page of single-spaced directions for how to turn it on. It also has an evil red eye like HAL 9000. Last week I saw four guys, all naked, trying to use it. Then they went inside and it boiled them to death. It was the first time that ITS had to clean up bodies. I hope the Athletic Center will better consider its new equipment in the future.