As the zero hour approaches, I have noticed many a youth fumbling around in the ether for a good Halloween costume idea. And seniors fumbling around twice, unwilling to recycle their Senior Cocktails get-ups. There is nothing more visual than film, so I have cooked up some cinematic costume concepts designed to help spur the creative process.
Solo costumes: the platter on which You Got Served, the incoherent narrative structure of Mission: Impossible, Peter Lorre, the 10th Thing I Hate About You, Jason Alexander’s male pattern baldness from “Dunston Checks In,” the Holocaust from Schindler’s List.
And for those who lean towards making a political statement:
The Grapes of Baath, Dick Cheney (The Invisible Man), Harriet Miers (Aborted Fetus of a Nation). A couple dressed up as Storm from X-Men and a dude in a George Bush mask. The Storm should be giving it to Bush… you know like it is in the current events right now!!! Or you could dress up as my lame, offensive joke and my shoddy, unstructured column.
FRIDAY (10/28): HUSTLE AND FLOW-8 P.M.
(I star in a trailer for “Hustle and Flow,” as a suburban hustla. It will showing Friday before the film).
Terrence Howard, a shoo-in for an Oscar nomination, gives this year’s most crackalackin’ performance as D-Jay, a straight up pimp turned dirty south rapper. I’m ’bout this film. There is one problem I have though. The beats iz tight, but the lyrics neither hustle nor flow. Now I understand that it is a neat trick to get us to root for a pimp that slaps his hoes and croons ditties like “Whoop That Trick,” but the man has no gift for gab. Sample: [Chorus] “Whoop that trick” (16x)
“DJay that’s the name and I came to bring the pain…”
That is some lackluster shizz. Here is how this columnist would do it (under the moniker of J-Flash):
“You know how Flash is wont to do i.e. nicer and icier than you.
So next time ya think ’bout steppin’ to Flash,
Betta apply baby powder cuz ya instincts iz rash.
You say you spit, you mean the opposite of swallow.
With me its showtime at the Apollo.
Forget Rkelly, more easy to sell this, even after wetting a minor’s pelvis.”
Where is J-Flash’s heart-wrenching tale of rising up from the projects amidst crippling poverty and having the pluck to endure only to become an international hip-hop sensation in the process? Just some soul food for thought. I am a diamond in the rough rider, ya heard. My rap busts a cashew in yo eye and asks questions lata. Discover me. And tell your whole posse.
SATURDAY (10/29): PEEPING TOM-8 P.M. FREE.
Trick or treat, trick or treat, give me something good to… watch on the Film Series. Ok, little boys and girls, do you want this apple or this bag of nuts or this carrot? No, give me Peeping Tom!
Voyeurism. Snuff. Creepy sympathetic guy. A psychologically dense, diabolically unsettling experience, Peeping Tom will get under you skin and then watch you undress from the inside. Psycho and Peeping Tom came out the same year and dealt with the same subject matter. Come see if history has elevated the wrong film (Hint: Scorsese is Peeping Tom’s lapdog.) Peeping Tom also has some stellar taglines: “Goodnight Daddy, Hold my Hand,” “More Horrible Than Horror! More Terrible Than Terror!” and “Marked for death by Peeping Tom – To Look Meant Danger, To Smile Meant Death!”
SPECIAL DAY: TUESDAY (11/1): MYSTERIOUS SKIN-8 P.M.
(This blurb was written by Film Board Sexy Man Asher Schranz)
From Gregg Araki, a director who’s made his name off of queer sci-fi films about campy Americana, comes Mysterious Skin. And yes, it stars that kid from “3rd Rock from the Sun,” but he’s also an awesome, gut-punchingly emotional actor. And Mysterious Skin is about as much of a punch-in-the-proverbial-gut-of-emotion as they come. It’s the story of two teenage boys obsessing over one summer when they were little kids. One (Joseph Gordon Levitt), now a hot-shot hustler, is grappling with his intense love for the little league coach who molested him. The other is convinced he was abducted by aliens. Also stars Elisabeth Shue and the girl from “Pete and Pete” and “Harriet the Spy.”
SPECIAL EVENT: WEDNESDAY (11/2): ICE HARVEST. 8 P.M. FREE.
A special advance screening of a big studio film, a la “Serenity,” a month prior to its release. Directed by Harold Ramis (“Groundhog Day,” “Caddy Shack”), “Ice Harvest” stars John Cusack, Billy Bob Thornton, and Oliver Platt. Remember we can only fit 400 people. Pretend you are old and live in Florida and your whole life is early bird specials. Come in advance and you can feast on the Ice Harvest.
THURSDAY (11/3): LITTLE OTIK. 8 P.M. FREE.
Pinocchio on smack. A woman unable to conceive transfers her motherly love to a wooden block carved to look like a baby. Her love brings the baby to life, and many others to death, as the wood baby starts devouring the neighbors. “Little Otik” is one of my all-time favorite horror-comedies (though that genre title does not do it justice) and one of the inspirations for Wesleyan student Benh Zeitlin’s award-winning senior thesis film “Egg.”
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