Have you seen my roommate? His name is Sawyer Greene. I lost him. I am happy that the Where’s Sawyer At?! (WSA) organization already exists and they can assist me. But have you seen him? Seriously, where is he? I miss his warmth and proximity.
He is about six feet tall, which is quite like three meters. His hair is red. I have gathered what I could of the hair he shed on the floor and weaved it into a basket. Come get it, Sawyer. I made it for you. It is a red basket. Red like the pain in my heart when he’s gone; red like the glowing heat that burns in the sky of a setting sun; red like the Hawaiian Punch I spilled on his rug, which probably made him run away in the first place. I apologize for that, by the way.
But is he in one of your classes? Or possibly sleeping in your closet? Sawyer, I am sorry for making fun of your last name, which is a color, and for making fun of your first name, which is a last name.
Is he studying in Olin, or possibly in the PAC lab? He could be in the Zilkha Gallery. Have you seen him there? Has he been proclaimed dead? This would be important information for the WSA to include in their investigation. If he is dead, or at least has been proclaimed so, I must know in order to implement my plans to turn his part of the room into a bocce ball court. But if he isn’t dead, he is still welcome.
Are you hungry, Sawyer? I made a burrito. You can eat it, if you want. But you might have to heat it up in the microwave. Are you mad about the pictures I took of you while you were sleeping and then posted on the internet? Is that why you ran away? If you are, then I apologize. If not, then that’s good.
Is he working on the construction of the new campus center? He likes to build things. He built us a friendship. A friendship that is slowly sinking in the desolate sea of his empty room. A room that is as empty as my heart. A heart as cold as the aforementioned desolate sea in which the friendship is sinking. Sawyer, come throw me a life preserver.
Are you there? Buddy? I’ll scratch your ears. The basket I weaved for you is full of goodies, ready for your enjoyment – goodies such as a prerelease of the new Film Series poster, which includes such weeks as “Rocky Week,” “Jaws Week,” and “Schindler’s List Week.”
Please, if you find him, read him this plea and immediately contact the WSA. The officials I personally elected will know exactly what to do.
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