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A Brief History of the Wesleyan Student Assembly

1817: Harvard Law founded. WSA founded shortly after to give applicants to Harvard Law something to put on their resumes.

1842: WSA accidentally drops pen in toilet. Accidentally drops glasses in toilet trying to recover pen. Accidentally drops keys in toilet trying to recover toilet. Controversy ensues as to how exactly WSA then accidentally flushes toilet.

1859: WSA calls Origin of Species “ludicrous”. Arranges campus-wide trip to the zoo in order to point at monkeys and laugh.

1872: WSA allows Wesleyan to admit women. Educational standards plummet. Cootie epidemic sweeps campus.

1920-1933: WSA supports Prohibition. WSA meetings become much more boring.

1938: WSA signs Munich agreement, agreeing to give Hitler the Sudetenland.

1939: World War II. WSA stays neutral.

1953: WSA coauthors a paper with Linus Pauling and Robert Corey arguing for a triple-helix DNA structure

1969: WSA decides not to attend Woodstock with friends, citing a desire to watch the new episode of “Bonanza” on TV that night.

1978: WSA insists on wearing powder-blue disco suit to cousin’s wedding

1982: WSA cast as minor character “Francis Nurse” in community theater production of Arthur Miller’s The Crucible. Forgets lines on opening night.

1990: WSA gets Milli Vanilli tattoo on left ass cheek.

1994: Assembly experiences the “comedy of errors” when WSA elections were invalidated when an inadequate number of representatives were elected.*

1995: WSA refers to “Leaning Tower of Pizza” in casual conversation. Continues to make this mistake until 1997.

1998: “Film Series Controversy” *

1999: WSA referendum directly causes the cancellation of NBC’s “Freaks and Geeks”

2004: Impeachment of Patrick Rheaume

* From WSA website

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