I haven’t seen any of these movies. But my teacher says I can use my imagination. Sometimes I finger-paint dragons even though I’ve never seen one. If I had a dragon I would name him Wilbert!
“Cornered” by Adam Freelander— Best movie ever. It is as good as licking the lid of a pudding cup. Unless the pudding is butterscotch. Butterscotch pudding is bad.
“Santo” by Raquel Gutierrez— My big brother has a friend named Santo. If this movie is about my brother’s friend Santo it will be about sitting on curbs and drinking beer. I think he is in a gang.
“Last of the Wangunks” by Eliot Fisher— I do not know what a Wangunk is, but if it is like a Wiggle, I will like this movie very much.
“Calling in Sick” by Michael Drucker— Last week, Daddy called in sick. Daddy said he had the flu. Mommy said he just wanted to get stones. I did not see any rocks.
“Missing” by Jeremiah Friedman— I lost my puppy once. I put up posters. But Mommy said the Vietnamese family down the street ate him. But she was wrong. Do you know why? Because I asked!
“Eracesure” by Justin Leroy— Arnold Schwarzenegger is a U.S. Marshall assigned to protect Vanessa Williams. And there are guns that can shoot you in the heart.
“Janie’s First Case” by Leslie Brown— There is a girl named Janie in my class. I do not like her because she smells like a toilet brush. This movie is not about Janie. It is about a different Janie.
“Kinetoscope” by Max Goldblatt— A kinetoscope is a very old motion picture machine. It was invented by Edison. Did you know that? Because I didn’t.
“Items Removed from a Human Trachea” by Lynn Levy— One time I choked on a Lego. It was a spaceman’s helmet. Santo dared me to eat it.
“Telepathic Restaurant” by Dylan Osborn— Do you know what a real telepathic restaurant would be like? It would be like all the X-Men in one! My favorite X-Man is Gambit.
“The Play” by Matt Kertman— This is not a movie!
“The Anatomist’s Apprentice” by Olga Abramson— I do not know the meaning of any of those words. I lost my dictionary. I think it is under my bed. I asked Santo because he was outside on the curb. He did not know.
“A Star Close to Home” by Katie Goldschmidt— I hope this movie is about Alpha Centauri. Alpha Centauri is 3.5 light-years from the Sun and is actually a triple star system. It seems very nice. I did a book report on it once. It had a picture!
“Stasis” by Jeremy Paul— Like the part in “Ernest Goes to Camp” where Ernest goes to camp.
“Artifice” by Julia Silbergeld— One time I went on an airplane with Daddy. He was hiding things in his artifice. I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone though. If I did I would have been grounded.
“The Final Girl” by Katie Walsh— One time I saw “Aladdin on Ice” and when Aladdin tried to do a backward spin jump he fell over and crashed into Abu!
“I Like Women” by Meghan McCarron— Mommy says she likes women sometimes. And then she brings home my gym teacher Ms. Benjamin. Daddy gets very angry when Ms. Benjamin comes over. Ms. Benjamin can throw a ball very far.
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