What a disaster. I can’t show this to people. No one is going to understand this movie. It’s all my fault. I did everything wrong. I should’ve come up with a better idea. I should’ve written a better script. I wish I could start over. This movie is offensive, callous, badly edited, and it has no story. There’s no story! I am ashamed.
What could I possibly have been thinking? Why did I think it would be a good idea to make a 12-minute digital video musical adaptation of Portnoy’s Complaint? And why did I think I could write the music myself? I don’t play any instruments. I thought the choreography in the “Masturbating in the Bathroom” song could carry the weak music, but it doesn’t. It just distracts from the story.
Okay. I shouldn’t panic. Maybe I can fix it tonight. It’s not too late. I just need to take out all the penis shots. Yeah, that’s it. Penis shots out. Penises are hard to look at. They will make people dislike my movie. All I have to do is make sure my movie has no penis shots, and I’m golden. Here we go.
Oh shit, I forgot! My entire movie is a musical about a Jew playing with his penis!! Damn it I am fucked!
People will see this and they are going to judge me. They will think that I am a pervert and untalented. And I guess they will be right. Ugh. I suck. I am ashamed of this musical penis thesis.
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