Losers Circle: The Adventures of Reagan and Arafat in Heaven

Reagan: I can’t believe we got out in the first round. I mean, I know winning the title is a long shot, but—
Arafat: Dude, I know.
Reagan: I thought it would at least be me and you in the finals.
Arafat: You know what though? Part of me’s glad that we’re dead. Heaven is the shit. The shit!!!!!
Reagan: The “shiznit!!”
Arafat: Bitches everywhere!
Reagan: All you can eat!!
Arafat: And free movie tickets!!!
Reagan: Oh yeah!
Arafat: Hey, that reminds me… did you ever pay me back for the sno-caps I bought you at Diary of a Mad Black Woman?
Reagan: Oh shit… no, I didn’t. I must have—
Arafat: Don’t say it.
Reagan: I must have forgotten!!!!
Arafat: Hahahaha!!!!!
Reagan: I can’t help it man, it’s the Alzheimer’s!
Arafat: There’s no Alzheimer’s in heaven! You’re such a bastard!
Reagan: Dickface.
Arafat: Dick…ass!
Reagan: Towel head!
Arafat: Whoa. Whoa. Dude, this is regional dress.
Reagan: Yeah, well, it’s gay.
LATER…
Reagan: What ever happened to Students for a Free Palestine? Did they disband or what?
Arafat: I don’t think Students for a Free Palestine disbanded.
Reagan: What happened to them, though? They used to be so badass. At least punch a Jew or something, you guys!
Laci Peterson: Hey, that’s anti-Semitic!
Reagan: LACI!!!!
Arafat: What’s up bitch!!
Reagan: Shit, girl, you look good!!
Peterson: Fuck you guys. Who wants to play Smash Brothers?
Arafat: YES!! I call no one can be Kirby!
Peterson: Oh, definitely. Being Kirby is cheap.
Reagan: What? What are you talking about? I’m always Kirby.
Arafat: Dude, you’re usually Mario, or Jigglypuff. You’ve never played as Kirby.
Reagan: Oh… I must have… forgotten!!!
Peterson: Oh, Reagan!!!!