The Oscars. The time when the “Academy” (aka The Man) can get together, lounging around in their three-piece suits drinking appletinis and judging greatness. Paula Cole may be asking “Where have all the cowboys gone?” but I’m asking Where are all the blacktors and blacktresses????? Seeing as the Oscars are presented during our month, I think it’s only right that we get a little sumthin’ sumthin’ from the pappy, Mr. Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
1. I suggest the winner for Best Actress in a Lead Role go to Halle Berry, who plays Hillary Swank in “Million Dollar Baby.” Who are we kidding? Halle can run over a pedestrian whenever she feels like it— she sure as hell can win a boxing championship!
2. “Hotel Rwanda” should win for everything it’s nominated for, and even some things it isn’t, such as Best Foreign Language Film, and Best Short Film (Animated). You owe us that much.
3. Morgan Freeman should retroactively win 21 Oscars for every film he has ever been in. Yes, even Kiss the Girls.
4. Nominated for Best Visual Effects, I expect the dude who hooked up “I, Robot” with the phatty visuals to pick up his trophy. For serious.
5. Nominated for 6 Oscars, “Ray” better take home every single one, or somebody’s getting cut. You know who you are.
Well, that’s all I’m saying for now, folks. Let’s just see what happens on Oscar night.
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