Dearest readers, fans of filmdom, I return to you after a week’s absence from the glorious yet thin pages of this publication. Now that the April Fool’s Day issue has come and gone, I want us to return to the task at hand; to a frank and honest discussion of the cinematic urge. I need to get right to the point. I have a serious concern. And it’s about President Douglas J. Bennet. It’s not about chalking. It’s not about mumbling.
The question is “Does Bennet watch movies?” Think about it. He’s running a University. He meets with students and administrators. He has dinner with Midge. But does he unwind after a day’s work by popping a DVD in the player? On weekends does he saunter down to Destinta and drop twenty bucks on nachos, an Icee, and a seat front and center for “Hellboy”? Do he and Peter Patton play Trivial Pursuit: Silver Screen Edition when nobody shows up during office hours? Think for a second. Can you even imagine what Bennet would look like watching a movie? Probably not. I saw a videotape of “PCU” in Bennet’s den at one of those parties where they show you around and then you get dessert. I don’t know, but it seemed kind of staged; a way to bridge the gap between himself and students. If you were to go up to him and say “Tonight at the Pit, Everyone Gets Laid,” I don’t think he’d have any idea what you were talking about. The funny thing is that the other video I saw on the coffee table was “Deliverance.” Okay, that’s not true. But what would Bennet watch? “Independence Day?” “Forrest Gump?” “The Passion of the Christ?” I don’t really know. Maybe he’s a fan of Hitchcock. Or Sirk. Or Fellini. Or Charlie Kaufman. Or Troma films. Regardless, I think I would feel much more comfortable going here if I knew his film taste. Maybe that’s a snobby way of looking at things, but I think we’d all be better off. In my fantasy, Bennet is secretly into 50s B-movies with Mamie Van Doren, Busby Berkeley musicals, The Dogme 95 Manifesto, Dario Argento, “Closely Watched Trains,” and movies starring Dirk Bogarde. But most importantly, I want him to be into fucked-up horror movies.
“Cabin Fever,” which is playing this weekend in the Cinema is a perfect example. I’ve talked about this movie a couple of times before. Gushing that I loooooove this movie wouldn’t even begin to cover it. I think it is incredibly funny (in a very un-P.C. way), and incredibly gross. Put the two together and you have, in my eyes, the perfect combination. I got to interview the film’s director, writer and producer (as well as actor) Eli Roth, for your reading pleasure. I hope you check out the interview. But more importantly, I hope that you check out the film. Above everything else, it is a FUN movie. If you go see it, you will have fun. Enjoy it!
“Cabin Fever.” Friday and Saturday, April 9 & 10, 7:30 and 10pm, CFA Cinema, $3.
For free simultaneously in the Science Center:
FRIDAY: “The French Connection” Gene Hackman stars as Popeye Doyle in this cop classic that won 5 Oscars. Best car chase of all time? You decide.
SATURDAY: “Touch of Evil” Like “Citizen Kane”? Have never seen any other Orson Wells picture? Shame on you. See this one. Best opening shot ever? You decide.
Next week:
Wednesday: Check out Olivier Assayas’ newest mindfuck “Demonlover.” It’s got anime porn, corporate espionage, S&M, sex, violence, and Connie Neilsen, who is way beautiful. It also stars Chloe Sevigny, who is an actress. This movie is like a fusing of “Mulholland Drive,” and “Videodrome,” by a crazed Frenchman who likes to see women being violent with each other. I think it’s a unique experience. Unique and titillating.
Thursday: “Buffy” fans in the house? Well on Thursday, April 15 Joss Whedon is coming to campus for a special WesFest event. He will be screening the musical episode of “Buffy,” “Once More With Feeling,” in the Cinema at 7:30, with a Q&A following at 8:30, then a reception at Admissions after that. The event is free. Stay tuned for an interview with Joss in the next Argus.
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