I am SUPER-PSYCHED about Saturday’s “Skill(z) Workshop for Middle Eastern Activists”! I’ve always LOVED shawarma and HATED oppression, so this looks like the perfect workshop for me! I really don’t know too much about the Israel vs. Palestine situation, but I am hoping to learn and find out what team I should be backing. Right now I’m leaning towards Palestine, ’cause they have Yassir Arafat – he won the Noble Peace Prize! Also, when I was 13, one of my Jewish friends had his Bar Mitzvah party and the theme was “Israeli-Palestinian Conflict” and the MC was DJ AraPHAT…it was rad! We played this game called “Coke and Pepsi,” but this time they called it “Bulldozers and Palestinian Homes.” DJ AraPHAT kept on yelling “holla!” and then holding up this Jewish bread and people laughed. I didn’t get it though.
Anyway, I can’t wait for this active(iz)ism-filled day of fun! The first workshop I am going to is called “Trajectory and Velocity: The Mechanics of Rock Throwing.” Then I’m going to one called “Arab Leaders: Profile on Edward Said and Paula Abdul.” That one should be fun, but what about Tony Shalhoub?! He was HILARIOUS on Wings! Maybe they’ll mention him. The third workshop is called “Developing Tank-Destroying Sling-shots.” I hope they stop for lunch at some point. All of that zany activism makes me hungry! It can also stress me out, which is why I was super-excited when I heard that you can get a free full body Mossad!
I don’t want to brag or anything, but I got an email from President of Wesleyan. Doug Bennet, about Saturday’s event. Apparently there have been concerns about anti-Semitism! That’s DEF not cool. My roommate told me that the term “anti-Semitism” doesn’t make sense, ’cause “Arabs are Semites, too.” I told him that was a really awful thing to say and I walked to another room. See, conflict averted! It is wrong to discriminate against Jewish people, especially when TONS of Jews have contributed so much to society, like: Albert Einstein, Barbara Streisand, Sigmund Freud, Lenny Kravitz, Dick Cheney, Woody Allen, Keiko the Whale, Justin Timberlake, John Wayne, Serena and Venus Williams, Hank Greenberg, Hank Aaron, John Stamos, three members of Wu-Tang, I.M. Pei, Gwen Stefani, Moses Malone, Pat Robertson, Pikachu, Bob Dylan (before he converted to Wahhabism), Karl Marx, Ralph Macchio, Aaron Sussman, Jackie Chan, Ben Stiller, Michelangelo (the Turtle), Lance Armstrong, Adam Sandler, Bishop Desmond Tutu, A.C. Slater, Alan Dershowitz, and Mel Gibson. That’s A LOT of culture! People think that Jews are just good at accounting and finance and law and that stuff, but they can also do stuff like sports or music or even construction – just look at the Pyramids or that huge Security Wall!
In Prez Bennet’s email, he said, “…and Wesleyan students can become leaders in the quest for peace.” Where do I sign up for that!? I would be SO PSYCHED about being one of them. I’d call my mission PeaceQuest. We’d have theme music. Kinda like the Star Wars theme, but Klezmer style. PeaceQuest! I think that this Workshop should include other issues, like animal rights. They could call it “From PETA to Pita”! That’d be so cute!
In conclusion, I just want to say that if we all try to look at situations from another person’s shoes (or makeshift, inadequate footwear), we will reach a level of understanding and love and realize that we are all the same, and fighting just leads to more fighting, but love leads to more love. And sometimes babies. Enough babies to start an army! PeaceQuest!
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