On Thursday afternoon, five Wesleyan students gathered in front of Destinta Theaters on Main Street in protest of “Elf”, a recent New Line Cinema release featuring Will Ferrell, James Caan and Bob Newhart.
According to John Doe ’05, the organizer of the protest, the “flash die-in” mimicked similar demonstrations in Boston and New York, in that participants were recruited through a mass email detailing the plan. Any students who were interested in participating were asked to arrive at the movie theater parking lot at 3:58 p.m. and remain unnoticed for two minutes.
At precisely 4 p.m., the five students yielded by the email darted toward the theater’s entrance, each from a different direction. They clustered together in front of the “Elf” movie poster on the outside wall of the building. After somberly shaking hands, all five students dropped to the ground and began to play dead.
“It was like a war zone out there,” said Destinta employee Bud Genneto. “But without the guns and whatnot.”
The protesters remained immobile on the ground for 97 minutes, corresponding with the runtime of the movie.
“We wanted to show that we’re right there with the elves,” Doe said. “We wanted to act out the pain caused by every minute of on-screen ridicule.”
Doe and his fellow protestors claim that, throughout history, elves have been exploited for the amusement of the wealthy.
“People see an elf in the middle of the summer and they say, ‘oh, how cute, it’s like Christmas in July!’,” Doe said. “They think that elves were put on this earth to make toys and take orders from some old white man.”
Doe added that many elves leave the North Pole in order to escape the oppressive environment.
“It’s hell up there,” he said. “I don’t think it’s any coincidence that Santa Claus is German.”
The Destinta protest ended peacefully at 5:37 p.m., just as Doe planned. Theater employees were confused by the demonstration, but saw no need to call the authorities.
“They were just lying there, and then they just rose up and left,” Genneto said. “Like Jesus. Like five Jesuses.”
Doe said that he will continue to fight the commodification of elves. This sentiment reflects the rising opinion of a few people across the country – that “Elf” is a problematic film. Representatives from the elf community are particularly upset at Ferrell’s bumbling portrayal of an “elficized” human.
The movie tells the story of “Buddy the Elf,” a human male who climbs into Santa’s sack as an infant. Buddy is accidentally transported to the North Pole and subsequently raised by Newhart’s “Papa Elf.” Upon returning to New York City to find his biological father, Buddy encounters a host of problems and becomes an embarrassment to his human family.
“The whole plot revolves around this white human male who, we’re supposed to assume, would have been just fine if he hadn’t been raised by elves,” said Martin Short, chairman of the Elf Council. “Over time, he becomes elficized, which, according to this movie, is synonymous with becoming an idiot.”
Short said that he was offended by the insinuation that elves are in a perpetual Christmas mood. He explained that, contrary to popular belief, less than a quarter of the elf population is currently employed at Santa’s workshop.
“Look at me, I’m not a toymaker, I’m an actor,” Short explained. “We’re everywhere. We’re schoolteachers, pilots and racehorse jockeys. A lot of elves become models because there’s very little difference between an elf and a human child. I’ve got friends who were in the last Pottery Barn Kids catalogue.”
New Line Cinema has not issued a statement regarding the allegations of racism, but Ferrell has spoken out in defense of the movie on several occasions. He maintains that Buddy the Elf is a harmless character, with little to spread other than laughter and Christmas spirit. Ferrell also said that he was hurt by the implications that he personally has racist leanings.
“My best friend is an elf,” Ferrell said. “I kick it in the Pole with the elves all the time.”
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