As an editor of the Ampersand and sometimes reader, I am outraged by the base and insensitive comments that continue to plague this supposedly “comedic” page in the Argus. I don’t know what us guys find funny over here, but it certainly isn’t the same thing that we other people find funny.
Many people open up the Argus hoping to find informative articles about sports or PS reports, or perhaps a “slice-of-life” article about someone on campus who fought and won the battle for more vegan entrees. But nay nay, my friends. Readers are instead disappointed to open time and again to the Ampersand, placed near the middle of the paper in an orgy of poor planning.
However, we readers are open-minded, accepting people, and so we settle in, planning to enjoy a hearty chuckle or two. Again- nay nay. It is not to be. Instead of a nice joke like this:
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
We get this filth:
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because he wanted to club a baby seal. And he was Jesus.
I can’t believe I just typed that! Even this Wespeak about offensiveness is getting offensive! The Ampersand is a contagious, offensive blight, and it is spreading. We need to boycott the Ampersand. Please stop buying the Argus until they pull the plug on this atrocity like that guy in Florida who wants to take his wife off of life support but Jeb Bush got up on his high horse and shat on the constitution. Is this offensive? Probably. The Ampersand’s gears must be stopped immediately, even if this means we must continue to throw ourselves on its gears until they can turn no more.
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