When I first read the articles in a recent Argus regarding multiculturalism and the appropriation of other cultures, I was a bit skeptical as to the seriousness of this issue. So I did my own investigation.
My first discovery was a fenced in backyard in the North End. From this backyard, I heard suspicious sounds—a strumming of some sort—a stringed instrument—a ukelele? Yes, a ukelele. Upon closer inspection, I came upon dozens of racist hate-mongers, most claiming they were between the ages of six and “six and three quarters,” wearing leis, grass skirts, and garments ignorantly and callously referred to as “Hawaiian shirts.” These young oppressors were consuming an entire culture, not to mention cookies and cake. They also ate pizza, but not just any kind of pizza…they ate Hawaiian pizza. I was appalled. As someone who has visited Hawaii on several occasions, I have developed a strong appreciation of the culture: from their gracious airport employees to their breathtaking resort beaches to their always prompt room service. Lest you think I only had a typical tourist stay in our 50th state, I will tell you about the native experience I had at a “luau” (loo-OW). There was roasted pig, fire eaters, dancers, and a comedian! I learned some of the language too (“Aloha” translates to “hello,” “good-bye,” “peace,” “hate,” and “stop oppressing me with your multicultural imperialism”). I would say that I am somewhat of an expert on Hawaii, though I admit I do not understand how it is so warm there when it is so close to Alaska.
My second discovery involved not so much a culture, but a lifestyle. By doing a quick search on the “World Wide Web” for the word “lesbians,” I came upon 549,394,602,890 websites. It took me nearly nine straight hours alone in my room to research all these! You wouldn’t believe the amount of appropriation and exploitation of lesbian culture that I found! There were all sorts of lesbian activities being displayed for mainstream audiences, such as kissing, touching, sex, fixing the carburetor on a ’91 Buick, etc. I was shocked.
You might think we Americans are the only ones who consume and appropriate and demean and destroy…but you’d be wrong. The other day I turned on my television to watch some NBA action only to see Yao Ming (sound like a native?) appropriating our NATIONAL (as in NATIONAL Basketball Association) culture, wearing a Houston Rockets jersey. How can we sit idly by and watch Houston culture be marginalized and turned into a commodity by this 8 foot 10 oppressor?
After that investigation, I realized a few things. Cultures should keep to themselves. Learning or being involved in another culture is imperialistic. In fact, even mentioning people from another country is probably better left undone. Unless you actually plan on moving to another country for many years and being immersed in the culture, it is wrong of you to try and understand it in any respect without getting the whole story. If you are white, make sure you ONLY wear things that represent YOU (i.e., J.Crew sweaters, golf pants, white robes and hoods, etc). Now if you’ll excuse me, more lesbian websites need investigating.
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