Dear Editor,
I write in response to the recent e-mail from WSA President Zach Kolodin, regarding students’ rights with public safety. I note the following point mentioned in the communication:
“Public Safety reports possession or consumption of under-aged students, but not intoxification.”
With a clean conscience and a straight face, I can assert that I have never possessed any students, under-aged or otherwise. That I leave to demons; it is their job. Similarly, to the best of my knowledge I have not consumed any under-aged girls, or boys, either. I would know, since if I had indeed consumed a succulent teenage girl on University premises, there would be suspect bits of bone and brain on my sheets in my Hi-Rise room. There are none, I can assure you. Any bits of bone and brain you might find in a search will be my own.
I realize, Zach, that you may have meant something quite different from what I have been describing. I apologize if I have been mistaken. However, I do find it quite offensive that Public Safety would report on the health of students: tuberculosis (TB) should be a private matter between doctor and patient. I do realize that some people do find girls with consumption quite attractive, delectable even, in a Victorian-era sort of way. That is no reason to report their condition to whatever higher power you are alluding to in your email.
Sincerely yours,
Simon Au
CSS ’07
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