Liberty, your Wespeak was shortsighted and disturbing. Your words truly angered me, not only because the issue of rape is extremely close to home for me, but because I believe men have a crucial role in ending sexism and sexual violence. Laurie Paul’s Wespeak was clearly not a personal attack directed towards you, but rather, an expression of sadness at the lack of visible male support at Take Back the Night, a criticism you only corroborate by writing a Wespeak in retaliation. If you truly support women’s rights, as you say you do, I suggest affirming and understanding, not condemning, a woman when she identifies sexist attitudes and behavior.
Sexism hurts men by hurting women, but sexism hurts men directly as well. Sexism impedes sexual gratification, forcing men in romantic relationships into positions of aggression and authority, which can be inauthentic and straining. Sexism is detrimental to men’s friendships, due to the continual presence of homophobia that causes heterosexual men to fear displaying affection towards other men. Sexism teaches men aggression, stoicism and to repress emotion. In other words, sexism severely limits and defines sexual roles, the expression of diverse sexual identities, and creates unachievable, disingenuous, and unrealistic standards of appropriate male behavior. Men should be able to feel comfortable to cry at movies. Men should be able to be caring and considerate towards the ones they love. Men should not have to compete with other men to prove who can piss the farthest.
In order to end sexist oppression, women need men to be feminists. However, I believe men need to be feminists for themselves as well. Love cannot exist cleanly and freely until we dismantle the cultural norms that structure our white supremacist patriarchy. This is why I urge all men to proudly call themselves feminists, and to be feminists in their daily lives. This means being visible, vocal supporters of women, by fighting to end racism and homophobia, and by seeking to cultivate authentic, compassionate senses of self.
You write, referring to your absence from Take Back the Night, “this does not mean we are not active in supporting your cause, just that we are not active in a public way.” This is not just “our cause.” Because we share a university, because we work and learn and love together, men and women must work together to end sexist oppression.
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