With all the attention being drawn to toilet facilities by the SWAB team, I finally feel like I can justify a discussion of bathrooms without coming across as slightly deranged.
It seems the designers took the brief “restroom” a little too literally. Take for example the ladies’ room on the second floor of the physics department. I thought I took a wrong turn on my first visit. Entering through the first door you finds yourself in a small hallway with another door to the right and an open room to the left. This room is a lounge, complete with a few armchairs with a giant painting of Einstein as a backdrop to inspire us. Full and half-length mirrors adorn the walls so we can scrutinise our look from every angle. Expertly installed, there isn’t a freckle I can’t see. I wonder if the men have such facilities. I often catch women admiring their reflections. Some stare lovingly at the duplicate before them; others scowl and frown in disgust. All scurry away and pretend they weren’t looking when I enter.
Your attitude for the entire day can be set in that split second between turning on the hot tap and glancing upwards and catching a glimpse of what everybody else sees. I don’t know how many times I have returned home from drawing class only to discover streaks of orange conté squiggled across my forehead and mouth. Thanks for telling me, folks.
I fail to see the point of this sidetrack room. Who, in their right mind, is going to actually sit down in the provided armchairs? When you enter the restroom you obviously need to use the toilet or sink, so you won’t be stopping for a short sabbatical beforehand. And you certainly have better things to be doing than lounging around in, debatably, the most unhygienic room in the building. There is even a coffee table in the centre. Are we supposed to sit around sipping coffee and chatting in the restrooms?
Beyond the second door are the actual facilities I came to use before being sidetracked. For a while the automatic hand towel dispenser was out of order, but a new improved model has since replaced this. “Pull with both hands” it warns, “Tirex avec les deux mains,” for our Francophone patrons. What are you supposed to do if you only have one hand? Emblazoned across the plastic cover is an information message, “For emergency feed, turn knob”. It’s important to have these kinds of devices for all the wet hand emergencies that have been wreaking havoc throughout the country.
What I do appreciate, however, is that somebody seems to have really gone through a lot of trouble to make visiting the restrooms an experience. As soon as you step into either of the rooms, motion sensors trigger lights to illuminate that self-shutdown after a few minutes of inactivity. Environmentalists can only applaud this energy-saving technique. Another commendable installation is the hygienic foot flushing devices. Finally, some modernisation! Toilet facilities seem to be the one area of life that hasn’t been dramatically improved over the years. If you look up the formal definition of “toilet,” it sounds like some archaic contraption from another era. Some people reluctantly share drinks. Yet we unquestionably share public toilets.
In my university in Ireland, real life drama is played out in the form of graffiti inscribed on the backs of toilet doors. Each day brings new commentary and insightful messages such as “Donna was here”, “Suz & Char, best mates 2006”. It’s a great place to write questions about life and relationships and get check back later for advice. Even the “cleaners” were avid contributors to discussions, often leaving us messages to stop thrashing the place after a night out and control the urge to throw wet toilet paper onto the ceiling.
Even with all the comforts installed here or the live gossip column in Ireland that even Dr. Phil would have a hard time competing against, I still just want to get in and out with minimal delay.
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