While tranquilly strolling down the steps towards Clark with Foss Hill to the left, I tripped, and tripped badly—I’m talking the kind of tripping one does in intensely divine, surreal experiences on one’s first use of rat poison as a means of understanding humanly unintelligible Argus comic strips. Why did I trip, you may ask? Well I shall tell you, and I shall tell you well. I tripped because the last step has been manufactured poorly; it is too far out of reach for my foot (size 6 by the way) to get to it, and I hope that a construction worker will come—as soon as possible—to fix it, or I may be forced to respond by calling upon my father, a highly respected lawyer in his county, to resolve the issue. As a college student, I feel better than most other people, and you should too. I deserve this. You deserve this. Your boyfriend deserves this. Your other boyfriend deserves this. Your bowl deserves this. Your guinea pig, who now faces a harsh existence out of the confines of your dormitory room, deserves this. We all deserve this step to be fixed, and I call upon the student body to support me in this fight for our safety and freedom. God bless America.
Step toward freedom at Clark
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The Wesleyan Argus
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