Dear Senior Class Officers and Dean Brown:
Of the 32 first-semester seniors, approximately 15 of us want to go to senior cocktails. Apparently that is 15 too many.
Our senior class officers were unavailable for comment; however, according to Dean Brown, the reason that current first-semester seniors cannot attend senior cocktails is because all affordable venues cannot accommodate more than 600 people.
Imagine that! To accommodate an extra 15 people would mean switching to a venue that would cost a few thousand dollars extra, and could accommodate guests (imagine the revenue from guests!). Are we 15 first-semester seniors really the straws that would break the cocktail camel’s back? Sounds fishy. Let’s see the facts on paper. Let’s see the data: the number of graduating seniors with passes and the number of graduating seniors actually attending the events.
The senior officers anticipate that all 600 spaces at the upcoming venue will be taken by graduating seniors. No room for 15 more. They anticipate that all seniors with passes will be attending. No room for 15 more! (However, we personally know at least three seniors with passes who are planning NOT to go next week). The numbers don’t add up, and we want to go to cocktails and party with our friends. We deserve it; we are seniors too.
Okay, so say the numbers DO add up, and 15 more people in attendance would be a fire hazard (doubtful, but possible), how about a compromise? If maximum capacity is reached during the night and more graduating seniors desire to get in to the event, the 15 of us first-semester seniors will happily leave. That’s right, we will just get up and go, no problem. In fact we can even wear t-shirts or ribbons that say “Class of 2004.5” so that you will know who we are if the situation arises and we have to be asked to leave. We believe that this will be amenable to both the graduating seniors and ourselves. Furthermore, we are confident that this will work because not all seniors who have purchased passes are planning on attending the upcoming event, and not all seniors who have not yet purchased passes are planning to attend the upcoming event.
Thank you for your attention,
The “Fight for Your Right to Party” Coalition on behalf of the Class of 2004.5
PS: We would like to see all data on this issue. We would like all of the stats mentioned above included in any future re-evaluations. Please? Thank you.
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