I have noticed a dearth of intriguing current topics in the Wespeaks section of the Argus. To be sure, though, a large part of the news today is quite inane and not worth debating at length about.
For example, Republican Fundamentalists protesting a War on Christmas? There is little more ironic than believers criticizing the secularization of a holiday absorbed from the pagan calendar in the first plac—f the atheists can be believed. Or matters closer to home? WSA Elections? By far the most interesting parts of each election are the write-in votes, but nobody pays attention to those. If they had, write-in votes would’ve been banned long ago. Fraternity houses? Why not? Let’s give the sororities on campus houses too, to make it fair! Surely you can’t talk about one and not the other. They’re two sides of the same coin. Although in Wesleyan, if *that* coin is flipped, it always lands on its edge.
Do I think there’s something worth protesting? Oh, yes. Just a while ago, as I was returning from Olin to my beloved air-conditioned Fauver Apartment, I noticed a strange message attached to my shiny elevator. It read: “Do not use the elevator in case of a fire. Use the stairs.” Quite a commonplace warning, you might think, but this one was on the ground floor. The Ground Floor! Imagine a fire breaking out in Fauver. You’re surrounded by searing heat and licking flames. The luscious widescreen TV in the lounge is melting. What do you do? Take the stairs? No! You run out the freakin door!
Ultimately, I do believe I’m protesting the death of common sense in America. I’d like to protest the demise of humor as well, or even the English language, but that’s for another day, when I’m not too fed up with papers to write something like this.
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