Firstly let us introduce a revolutionary concept with delicious consequences. We assume you must all be familiar with the myriad benefits of foods on sticks. But you may not have known that those fine people at Morningstar Farms finally figured out a way to make Meatless corn dogs!
Earlier this semester, my housemates and I stumbled across this proverbial pot of gold at the end of the meatless rainbow. WesleyanShop carried a promotional supply of this scrumptious product. After whetting our palettes, we were sad to discover that WesleyanShop’s storehouses of meatless corn dogs were not quickly replenished.
Harrowing days, weeks, and a month passed by while our frail bodies withered away as the Meatless corn dog spot in the WesleyanShop Meatless freezer remained unoccupied. While sustaining ourselves on paltry Supplies of whole grains, we made a pact to ensure that our hunger for corn dogs would be forever vanquished. If one was to find any supplies of corn dogs, he should, in brotherhood and fellowship bring the entirety of that bounty home for the benefit of all. Then, serendipitously, one of our housemates managed to drag his malnourished body to WesleyanShop and discovered six, count em,’ SIX boxes of corn dogs! Fulfilling his oath, he purchased all of them and brought them back to our domicile which prompted great feasting and merriment. Since this watershed event in the history of capitalism, WesleyanShop has continued to supply corn dogs at a rate equal to our demand (you’re welcome), thus proving once and for all that Karl Marx, VI Lenin, Fidel, and Chairman Mao are a bunch of bitches! You too, dear reader, can change the world.
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