Boys will be boys
Never men will be men
I must have zoned out for
“Pinch the tie around your neck,
Attaboy, keep your chin up
Right hand, shake, good work”
When I’m grown up, I won’t work
(Think of those lonely little boys!)
I could never keep up
With all those cranky old men
Always breathing down my neck
Pistachios and TV, that’s all I ask for
It’s Halloween, and everyone’s giddy for
Candy and pumpkins. Since you’re at work
Mom ties the cape around my neck
Drives me to the playground. Young boys,
Pirates and ninjas. Soon, handsome men
We’re always growing up
At graduation, we are called. We rise up
And march forth. “Now is the time for
Boys to link arms and become men,”
(Men who sometimes put in the work
Each month to hike with the boys
Who are really such a pain in the neck)
Chubby hands ’round Bart’s neck
This time Homer’s really fed up
Oh Lisa, you’re smarter than those boys
Bart, is it attention you’re looking for?
Take after your sis, she knows hard work
And doesn’t take shit from angry men
1943—grandpa stands among upright men
Rifle like an anvil around his neck
War, such courageous work
When it’s done, how will he ever put up
With the constant screaming for
Someone to look after the little boys
I’d never give you up
Not for all the diamonds in the world, not for
The love of pretty boys
Conrad Lewis can be reached at cglewis@wesleyan.edu.
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