BEST SHORT-LIVED PARTY:
Naked party
Flash party
Spring Fling 2004
And the winner is:
The naked flash party planned for Spring Fling… rain delay.
BEST CAMPUS DINGING CHANGE:
Mocon doesn’t suck… quite as much
Summerfield’s new method of food classification
Campus Center opening 24/7. 24 days a month, 7 hours a week.
And the winner is:
Fuck it. Let’s go to WeShop. Oh you’re a freshman? Uh…
BEST SPRING FLING ACT:
Mr. Face Killah
Vanilli
The guy from the Fugees who is not Lauryn Hill or Wyclef
And the winner is:
Garfunkel
Runners up:
Peppa
1 of the 10,000 maniacs
The guy who supplies the “Whoomp!” in “Whoomp! (there it is)” of Tag Team. We’ll call him “Tag.”
BEST NEW PROGRAM HOUSES:
Film Haus (those pretentious fucks)
Science House (complete with electron microscope and acne)
DKE
And the winner is:
A tie between Cultural Misappropriation House and Stereotype House
BEST WESPEAK FEUD:
Hawaiians hate fun vs. Don’t wear that flowered shirt… that’s my culture
Tech-ies vs. Athletes (aka circle jerks vs. no necks)
Zach Goldstein vs. Martin Benjamin
And the winner is:
Doug Bennet vs. Clearly articulated speech
BEST AMPERSAND ARTICLE:
Instant Message Breakup
Devra’s breasts
Theses: It’s not too late (Updated, complete with Halliburton jokes).
And the winner is:
Dead Puppies!
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