“They make you think, feel and see in a way that you’ve never thought of,’’ said a friend of mine with a puzzled expression. I asked who he was referring to. ‘‘Old people,’’ he said, and proceeded to read me a paragraph from a letter he had been working on. ‘‘It is for my new penpal. I am a part of the elderly penpal program.’’
The goal of Wesleyan Elderly Services, of which the penpal program is a part, has been to get volunteers to attend to the needs of the elderly of the Middletown community. They work with several homes in the area, which change from year to year. One place where they work is the Elder Care Solutions of Central CT and St. Luke’s Apartments, a complex for low-income elderly women. Students are each matched with one resident and are urged to make friendly visits whenever possible.
As someone who values dreams and desires above everything else, I used to think that youth was the only source of invincible energy and zeal. But then I remembered a conversation I had with an old man in Turkey. I was sitting on a park bench, weary from all the work I had to do that day, when a very old man asked to sit next to me. He started talking about his family, what his sons were doing, and why his daughter was divorced. I was interested, but I couldn’t stop thinking that he was a very “typical” old man.
Then something unexpected happened. He started talking about how much he missed his wife, who had recently passed away. He talked about her favorite desserts and mentioned that she always had always wanted to open a little café but that they never had enough money to start the business. He was seventy-two years old, but right after his wife died he got a job in order to save enough money so that his daughter could open a café, just like her mother had always wanted. I thought about how many young people would do that for someone they really cared about.
Of course, everyone has different experiences and personality traits that inform their actions at all stages of life. There is no one conclusion to draw about the elderly in general. But my conversation with that man in Turkey made me realize that many young people, like me, tend to think of the elderly as one group with shared needs and feelings.
That is one reason why the Wesleyan Elderly Services is so crucial: bringing the elderly and the young together allows senior citizens be more active and express their experiences in ways that are therapeutic, both for them and for the young people who work with them. In addition, many senior citizens have spent a lifetime serving their communities. When they grow old and are in need of care, they have the right to demand attention, especially in a society that, unlike those in other countries, advocates the spatial separation of the elderly from their children and grandchildren.
At the end of my conversation with my friend, I was pleased to have found out more about such programs at Wesleyan. I felt proud of those who lead or take part in these programs, since they are taking a huge step towards fulfilling one of our major responsibilities as young people: caring for the elderly and preserving their memories and experiences for future generations.
Muhtar is a member of the class of 2014.
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